Chapter 5: More than friends.

 "I love your daughter. I want to marry her very soon if she will have me."

When Lissa woke up in the morning, Shane was already making breakfast for the two of them. She left the cosy, warm bed to pee. She washed out her mouth with toothpaste and water, wishing she had her toothbrush with her. 

She washed her face with just water. Stepping into the shower, Lissa decided to do a quick tidy of her arm pits, breasts and private areas. She used the soap she saw in the shower and dried off with a large blue towel that was on the towel rack. She got redressed in the old shirt and shorts he gave her, but hung her wet panties on the shower knob. She would retrieve them later.

She walked into the kitchen and watched her host preparing breakfast, feeling strange emotions growing in her gut. She couldn't explain how being in his house made her feel. It evoked warm, cosy emotions to be near him, and the love he was showing her was melting her heart little by little. 

She cleared her throat and he looked up to smile at her. "Hey beautiful," he greeted her. Lissa moved further into the kitchen, she felt like she was being pulled towards him by a compelling force. 

Shane saw the look in her eyes and felt his heart race. When she came to stand before him, he put the spatula down and turned off the stove. He was making saltfish fritters, but that didn't matter at that moment. What mattered was the electrifying chemistry they felt between them. 

He pulled her into his embrace and looked into her eyes. He sensed that Lissa was falling for him, but he wouldn't rush her. Closing his eyes, Shane kissed her tenderly savoring the sweet, sensual emotions he was feeling. He felt Lissa's body melt against him and heard her groan. He opened his mouth and kissed her more passionately. 

"Lissa," Shane whispered. His voice was soft and tender to her ears. She leaned her head back exposing her neck to him. Shane gently nibbled and pulled on the soft skin as she moaned his name in a husky tone. 

The fragrance of his soap on her skin was something he didn't know he needed to smell, but it was mesmerizing to his senses. He groaned her name while he suckled on her neck and shoulders. She gripped his arms, holding onto him. Her legs felt weak.

 Shane lifted her in his arms and took her to his bed. He laid her down and lay on top of her. "Shane, I need you. I'm sorry, I can't help it," she said staring at him, while biting her bottom lip. He touched her face. "I need you too Lissa. I really need you," he told her.

She looked down at his crotch, noticing his bulge. She touched him and squeezed gently. "Ahh Lissa," he moaned. 

She pulled the tie at the waist of his sweat pants and pulled it down. Shane didn't stop her, he sat back and watched her. She sat up and looked at his boxer briefs straining against his erection. 

"Can I?" she asked. He nodded, curious about what she was going to do. She pulled down his underwear. He lifted his hips to assist her. She looked hungrily at him. Lissa circled her hand around his member and stroked him slowly. Shane bit his lower lip and moaned softly. "Lissa, what are you doing?" he asked her. 

"I want you, Shane," she said. "Forgive me for what I'm about to do." She lay her body down before him, licking her lips. Lissa opened her mouth and began pleasuring him, wanting to experience him one way or another. 

Shane touched her head and groaned. She moved her mouth up and down on him. It wasn't enough for her. She wanted to explore him. She reached her hand up and began caressing his muscular thighs. She heard him gasp, then groan her name.

 Slowly, she used her tongue to do a licking motion at the tip of his member while she held the base of it. She groaned when she tasted his sweet juice coming out. "Taste so good. Mmhh, sweet Shane, mmhh." She moaned then covered him with her mouth again and groaned more deeply. 

Shane started groaning a little louder. "Ahh, Lissa!" he moaned for her. "You feel so good!" He gently held her head to guide her mouth over him. As she moved a little faster on him, he used one hand to stroke her hair and the other to caress her shoulders. 

He was moaning softly and calling her name. He had gotten 'head' before but not like this. She moved on him passionately with an erotic fervor that made him want to make sounds for her.  Her mouth was sucking gently on him as she moved, and she was making sounds that made him want to lose control. She was driving him crazy. "Ohh Lissa, my Lissa, mmhh! You're driving me nuts!" he moaned 

Lissa found herself groaning as she pleasured him. She could hardly hold the full length of him in her mouth, but was determined to please him as much as possible. His scent and taste filled her senses with desire. 

Lissa felt her loins respond to him. She was getting really wet for him. This was her first time doing this sexual act and was surprised that it was having such a strong effect on her. She closed her eyes as she moved her mouth up and down on his hard shaft. She lifted her head, took her hand and stroked him faster. "Shane, I need it. You're making me do crazy things. Please, just one last time," she begged him. 

Shane grabbed her and threw her on her back. He pulled off the t-shirt he gave her and the shorts. He was pleasantly surprised to see that she wasn't wearing any underwear. 

Quickly, he removed the clothes he was wearing and lifted her onto his lap. "I wanna try again," he told her. She nodded. He kissed her until they were both out of breath and gasping for air. He caressed her breasts, kissing her lips and neck more fervently. Lifting her with her legs wrapped around him, he moved to sit on the edge of the bed and told her to take her time putting him inside her. 

She leaned herself back and slowly guided him into her. She found more success than the last time and moved on him carefully, taking her time. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Shane decided to allow her to do what was comfortable for her. He didn't move but cupped her bottom as she rode him slowly. 

As he felt her becoming more wet and supple he moved in her gently, telling her how beautiful she was. Lissa's eyes were closed. Her breathing was shallow as she moaned softly. He squeezed her buttocks and told her he loved her. She moaned his name,"Ohh Shane, I think I love you too! You make me feel crazy! Ahh! I want you! Baby, you feel so good. So big and hard! Ohh!"

He moved a little faster in her, cupping her buttocks more tightly. "Lissa, I love your sweetness. You're so sweet and tight! So wet! I love you baby," he groaned. He lifted her off his lap and made her kneel down on the bed. Gently, he penetrated her from behind and heard her moan more loudly.

"Like this sweet baby?" he asked her.

"Yes! Yes! Like that please! Yes!" Lissa moaned.

As he moved deeper inside, she cried out and moaned his name. He gripped her hips and started to do short, quick thrusts inside her. Lissa bit her lips then bawled out, "Ohhh! Ahhh! Ohh! Yes! Yes!"

"Ahh Lissa! Lissa!" he moaned. He pumped faster as he realised her muscles were more relaxed and he could move more comfortably inside her. Lissa was whimpering and moaning non-stop, her breathing shallow. 

She was wet and creamy. So wet and juicy for him. "Sweet baby! My sweet Lissa!  Your sweetness is driving me crazy!" He bit his lower lip. He never wanted these sensations to end. She was so wet and a little more looser now, he wanted to see how much of his member could get lost inside her.  

He dipped himself, moving slowly deeper and thrusted into her, hearing her moan his name. Just a little bit of his shaft was left out, but he didn't mind. Knowing that she could better accommodate his size was an exultant feeling. Being inside her felt almost like an other worldly experience. His breathing was becoming more laboured as he made love to her. He groaned as her tightness clutched him like a glove. He bit his lower lip and breathed deeply, trying to control his reaction to her.

Shane closed his eyes as he felt pleasurable sensations building and concentrating at the point where his body was joined to hers. He needed to make sure she was satisfied first. He slowed down his pace a little and tried to control his breathing. "Baby, how does it feel?" he asked.

Lissa was moaning and breathing heavily. "Goo ... good," she moaned breathlessly.  "Shane, ahhh, ahh! I love it. You feel so sweet." She tried to match the pace of his thrusts. She could feel her body trembling. "Ahh! Shane baby, don't stop please!" she begged him.

He opened his eyes and looked at her beautiful body moving in time with his. She was perfect. "Lissa, I won't stop. You feel so good, I don't want to stop. Baby, I want you to cum for me. I wanna see you shiver," he told her. His deep voice was husky with desire. He slowed his pace down even further, wanting to calm his racing mind. He was going to focus on something else for her sake. "You wanna cum for me, baby?" he whispered tenderly to her.

"Yes! I want!" she whimpered. He took his time building a rhythm inside her, and listened to her moans. He wanted to please her. He wanted to show her that his love could satisfy her. Shane leaned forward and used his fingers to gently caress her soft, moist folds. She bent forward and pushed her butt up to him.

Gently, he caressed and stroked her sensitive spot, listening to her moans. "Sweet baby, I love your sweetness. You're sweet and wet," he told her. He rested both hands on her lower back and moved his hips in a circular motion while thrusting in her. 

Listening to her moans, he wanted to try something else to get her high. He rocked back and forth inside her, making sure his hips slapped gently against her bottom. She moaned and began pushing her body back on him so she could feel his thighs smacking on her.

Lissa moaned his name repeatedly, "Ohh Shane! Feel so good! Shane yes! Like that, yes please. Ohh! Shane, baby, yes!"

When he heard her moan louder, and saw her pushing her body up on him more rapidly, he held onto her hips and started moving faster inside her. He gripped her more firmly and thrusted harder when she cried out and started to jerk and shiver. She was moaning and panting loudly. "Yes! Shane! Ahhh!' she cried.

"Yes Lissa! Yes baby!" he shouted, feeling good that he gave her pleasure. He closed his eyes and allowed the sensations he was ignoring to take over. He undulated his hips and moved in a grinding motion while he felt her body shiver. As his own body began to tremble, he called her name and told her she was beautiful. "Ohh Lissa, you're so sweet! So beautiful!"

They lay tiredly in each other's arms feeling breathless but happy. Shane kissed her forehead and smiled at her. Lissa rested her head on his shoulder. She didn't know what she would do if she could never experience this again.

****

After they slept in each other's arms for an hour, Shane woke up and finished breakfast. He took a shower and changed into a pair of soft cotton shorts and a cotton marina. He brought breakfast to her, and gently touched her arm. When she opened her eyes and saw that he brought her breakfast, she was overcome with emotion. Her eyes watered and she cried silently. Shane was dismayed by her reaction. 

He placed the tray with the food on the night table and cuddled her to him. His tenderness was doing things to her she couldn't explain. Tears fell harder. Shane held her close but didn't say a word. When she felt better, he asked if she wanted to shower before she ate. She told him yes. He set the shower's water heater to warm-moderate then came back for her and lifted her in his arms. He placed her in the shower and kissed her lips tenderly, then closed the shower door. 

"I'll heat up breakfast in the microwave, okay?" he told her.

"Okay," she replied.

Shane brought the tray back into the kitchen and placed the plate in the microwave but decided to wait until after she showered to reheat the food. He knew in his heart that Lissa must be hurting from the horrible break up between her and Derrick the day before. He wanted his love to be like an ointment to heal her broken heart, if she would let him.

He reached for the remote on top of the fridge and turned on the 18" TV mounted on a section of the kitchen wall. He was watching something on cable TV when Lissa came into the kitchen naked. His eyes devoured her soft, fragrant, beautiful flesh. He wanted to have her again, but decided they needed to talk. He turned the TV off and came to her. He hugged her and squeezed her close to him. "Mmhh, you feel so good," he said. 

Taking her hand, he led her back to the bedroom and looked into his drawers for a pair of tights and a t-shirt. He took in her beauty as he handed them to her. Her breasts were round and large but firm. The soft flesh were brown and flawless. His eyes dropped to her flat tummy. She had an hour glass figure with her waist curving in and hips flaring out in a way that made him wish he was behind her again, gripping her close to him. He adored her thick, smooth thighs, and she had a perky, round butt. All of her was beautiful. It was going to be hard to resist her. But he needed to if there was a chance they could be more than just friends. 

"The tights belonged to my cousin. Don't worry, they're clean. She slept over for a week while she was pregnant with my baby cousin Tara. Her husband was in the US military at the time and hadn't gotten leave yet."

Lissa took the clothes and got dressed. "Was he able to make it to the birth?" she asked.

Shane shook his head. "No, but he came down a week later. Fortunately, I was able to take her to the hospital and other family members came after."

What's your cousin's name?"

"Jhennel," he said. "She went up with him in December last year."

Lissa smiled at him. She came close to him and burrowed herself in his arms. Shane caressed her, rubbing her back. "If I'm going to visit here another time, I'm gonna bring clothes," she said. She closed her eyes, enjoying his warm embrace.

Shane chuckled. "Okay. Will there be another time?"

"I want there to be," she told him sincerely.

Shane squeezed her to him. "Mmh, Lissa you feel so good; all soft and nice." He bent his head and kissed her brow. "Hungry?" he asked.

"Mhm," she replied. 

He took her hand and led her to the kitchen and made her sit at the dining table. He reheated her food in the microwave. Took it out with oven mitts and placed it on a mat before her on the dining table. He poured some orange juice for her. 

Lissa looked at her food then smiled up at him. He had cooked saltfish fritters and steamed some callaloo. Everything smelled delicious. She dug her fork into her plate and stuffed her mouth with some callaloo. She smiled in appreciation. Delish! She thought. Now she would try the saltfish fritters. Shane watched her, a slight smile curled up his lips. She took up a fritter and bit into it. She rolled her eyes as the spicy flavor hit her taste buds. 

"Mhh, mhm!" she said while chewing.

Shane smiled broadly at her. "What does that mean?" he asked. He was amused at her reaction.

"This is so good! Callaloo tastes good, but the fritters dem shot!" she exclaimed. She hungrily finished that one then bit into another. 

Shane laughed softly.

He turned on the stove and heated up his share of the food. After a minute he turned off the stove and shared his food in a blue ceramic bowl. He poured himself some orange juice in a slender glass, and came and sat beside her. She giggled because she found it funny that he was eating his breakfast in a bowl and not on a plate. "What's this?" she asked, smiling at him.

"What? The bowl?"

She nodded amused. 

He chuckled. "It's what I like to eat out of in the mornings. It's my favorite bowl. I eat soup in it. I drink porridge in it." He grinned at her. He started eating. Lissa watched him. She felt warm all over. She wanted to learn more about him.

****

Shane and Lissa curled up together on the couch. She lay between his legs, her face resting on his chest. He was gently stroking her hair, filling his senses with the scent of  lavender oil. "I never knew you were like this," she said feeling grateful but sad at the same time. She lifted her head and looked at his face. "Why didn't you tell me you had feelings for me?" she asked. 

"But I did," he said looking at her.

"Yeah, just a few months ago, but you said you liked me from the first time we met."

Shane nodded. "Yeah, that's true, but remember I told you I didn't think I was ready for you. Some of the things you've heard about me are true, unfortunately. Since being a Christian I've had to take a hard look at my life. I've always wanted a family, but I don't know, there was just this side of me that wanted to explore; to just be wild and be out there. Maybe it was lust," he chuckled. He cupped her face. "I wanted you, but I wasn't sure if I could give you the love you deserved."

Lissa rested her head on his chest again. "I really wanna give this a try, but I don't think I can abstain. I mean look at what happened earlier. Shane, I want you. I've never felt like this for anyone."

"Not even Derrick?" he asked surprised.

"Being with Derrick was nice, but at points it felt like he was putting on a show more for his job and work colleagues. But with you, you're real. It feels more real with you, but I ... I don't know if I can wait until marriage to have sex. I'm being honest. I think I would seduce you every day and that wouldn't be right for you or the type of life you want to live."

Lissa reached up and touched his face. She stared into his eyes. "The way you loved me earlier, I ... " Lissa blushed. "You know how to make me feel good. I guess I can confirm that one of the rumors I've heard is true," she said, biting her lip.

Shane chuckled. "Oh? What's that?" he asked amused.

"That you know how to 'werk'," she said chuckling.

Shane laughed softly. He sighed, then stroked her back. Lissa closed her eyes. "I wanna be more than your friend Lissa," he told her.

"I know, me too, but I can't," she said. She felt a knot in the pit of her stomach. She felt like she was throwing away a good thing, but she had to be honest with him. Shane sighed again and squeezed her to him. "Okay, understood," he said quietly. 

He looked up at the large black clock with red hands on his living room wall. It was 1:30 in the afternoon. He kissed the side of her head. "I think I should take you home, okay?" he said.

Lissa nodded reluctantly. She wanted to stay with him. She felt like kicking herself, but she had to be true to her needs.

"After today I can't touch you like this Lissa, you understand that, right?" He gently brushed his lips on her brow. Lissa shivered when she felt the soft gesture.

She nodded reluctantly. "Would you be able to do this? Cuddle with me? If I gave this a chance, without the sex?" she asked him.

"Yes," he told her. "I just wouldn't caress your soft, beautiful breasts or touch you in places that would lead me to go off."

Lissa chuckled and shook her head. "I wouldn't let you be innocent. I would find some way to get you to give in. I'm not safe for you." Lissa leaned forward and kissed him briefly. She touched his lips. "You're very tempting Shane. I wouldn't be able to stop myself." She hugged him then stood up. "I'm gonna change into my clothes. Where did you put them?"

"Check the closet," he replied. He looked up at her wishing things were different, but knowing that he had chosen a path that made him a better person, and he didn't want to go back to who he was. Lissa went into the bedroom and took out her work clothes from the closet and got dressed. She retrieved her panties from the bathroom and stuffed them in a zip lock bag she had to put in two sanitary napkins. She put the pads in a small compartment of her bag. 

Shane put her shoes under his bed. She stooped down and felt for them. When she felt them, she took them out, sat on the bed and drew them onto her feet. Her jacket was on a chair in his bedroom she took it up and pushed her arms through it, then slung the straps of her bag over her right shoulder. When she walked into the living room, Shane stared at her. She saw the longing in his eyes, she felt the same way too. He got up and walked past her. "I'm gonna pee, be a minute," he said as he walked past her.  

After three minutes, he re-entered the room in a pair of black jeans and a cream colored polo shirt. He was also wearing black sneakers. She smelt his perfume: strong, masculine and very intoxicating to her senses. She cleared her throat. 

He took up his car keys from the coffee table. "Ready?" he asked. He was staring at her with a strange look on his face. Lissa nodded. She suddenly felt awkward. He moved towards the front door, she followed him. He opened the door for her and she went through. He locked the door behind them. He disarmed the car, unlocked the vehicle and she slid inside. He opened his driver's side and slid in slowly. 

Shane sighed deeply, pushed the key in the ignition and turned.  The car purred to life. He looked behind him as he put the car in reverse. He stopped close to the gate then got out. He opened the gate wide then backed the car out onto the sidewalk. 

He was about to get out when Lissa touched his thigh. He looked at her, his gaze burning into her. She swallowed. "I ... I can lock the gate for you," she said. He nodded. She nodded back. She got out, walked to the gate, brought the two sides together and closed its latch. Quickly, she slid into the vehicle and they drove off. 

"Thank you Shane. You've been very good to me. I ... You know I care about you," she said nervously. 

He listened to her but didn't look at her. "I just can't," she said.

Shane said nothing. He focused his eyes on the road. 

"You ... I." She stopped. She didn't know what to say. 

Shane reached for her hand and squeezed. "It won't be the same between us. I've tasted your sweetness Lissa, there's no going back for me," he told her. "But I will try my best to be there for you as much as I can, okay?"

She nodded. "Okay," she said feeling lost and confused. He released her hand and firmly gripped the steering while increasing the vehicle's speed. Lissa noticed the tenseness of his arm muscles. She leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes. She felt like she was gonna have a headache.

When they pulled up at her house, she turned to look at him. Shane focused his eyes ahead of him.  Lissa wished she could say something to make him understand that what she was doing was the best thing. She wanted to touch him, but couldn't bring herself to do it and then yearn for him to take her again. 

"I'm sorry," she said. She opened the car door and stepped outside, but didn't move right away. While her back was turned towards him, Shane looked up at her. He looked at the sexy curve of her back flowing into her round hips and bottom. He reached up and touched her lower back. She was right. It would be very difficult for him to resist her. In fact, he didn't want to. But there had to be some way they could figure something out. He didn't want to lose her. 

Lissa froze because of his intimate touch. She felt like turning around and asking him to take her back to his house. She pursed her lips, fighting herself to keep her mouth shut.

She closed her eyes. Her breath caught in her chest. "I ... I can't," she said. She opened her eyes and walked away from him, not looking back. Shane watched her walk away. He sighed deeply. He started the car's engine and sped away from the curb. He would visit his brother's family. He felt drained and empty.

****

Shaun opened the door for his twin. He could feel that something wasn't right with him. Shane stepped inside the house. He walked over to the couch and threw himself down on it, his feet still on the floor. Shaun looked at him, his arms folded across his chest. "You guys had sex again, but she said she couldn't have a relationship with you?"

Shane sighed. "Sometimes how you know me is unnerving," he told him. His eyes were closed.

Shaun went to sit beside his brother. Feeling the movement, Shane opened his eyes and sat up to accommodate him. "Remember the first time you told me you felt I was in love?" Shaun asked him.

Shane nodded. 

"With you it's different. I can kind of tell when you're getting lucky," Shaun said. He chuckled when he saw his brother's shocked face. "No, no I don't feel it. I mean, um... I don't feel you getting any, thank God," Shaun said amused. "It's just a feeling that you're very happy, so I feel happy, but somehow I can tell it's that happening."

Shane leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes. Shaun felt sympathy for him. "What did she say?"

"She wants to be with me, but at the same time she doesn't think she can give up sex," Shane said feeling frustrated.

Shaun leaned back as well. He glanced at his brother's hurt expression then looked across the room at the toy truck Noah left there earlier. "Shane, I've known you for thirty-four years, you're like my best friend. I'm gonna say something and it might surprise you."

Shane turned his head to look at his little brother. "Do you really love her?" Shaun asked him.

Shane nodded. "How do you think she feels about you?" Shaun asked.

"She's still hurting from her breakup with her ex-boyfriend. But I think the different side of myself I've shown her this past week has made an impression on her. I know she cares about me, and I know she wants me, but love maybe not."

"Do you think she could grow to love you?"

Shane thought about it. He knew she loved his touch. The way he made love to her. She probably even liked his girth and length, and the way he used it to please her. He did feel however that she yearned to be loved, to be cherished, but yes the physical aspect of a relationship was important to her. He understood that very well.

"I think she wants to. It's in the way she touches me or when we ..." He didn't want to divulge too much of their intimate time together.

"Or when you guys make love you can tell with the way she responds to you," Shaun finished for him.

Shane looked at him dismayed. Shaun smiled at him sheepishly. "I'm your other half, remember."

Shane shook his head with a sad smile, "I can't lie to you, can I?"

Shaun chuckled. "Nope," he said smiling softly. He looked at his twin.

"Be patient with her. I know you might think this is crazy, but I have a good feeling about this Lissa girl." Shaun said. 

"What do you mean?" Shane asked. 

Shaun shook his head. "I can't explain it. But I don't think you guys are done yet," he told his sibling. Shane turned his head to stare at the front door. "It feels like it's over to me," Shane said with a deep sigh. Shaun shook his head. "I don't think so," he said. He didn't know why, but he had a feeling he would meet this Lissa very soon.

****

Lissa lay on her bed curled up, crying quietly. She was surprised that telling Shane she couldn't be with him was a more devastating ache than her recent break up with Derrick. Yes, she was hurt that Derrick told her it was over, but the tenderness, the care she felt in Shane's arms was what she was pining for right now. 

She felt branded by his touch; branded by his delicious strokes inside her. She had been with Derrick but he never made her feel crazy like Shane did. With Rick there was stability, dependability, or so it seemed. 

There were hints of passion with Derrick, but the raw masculine, sensuality that Shane exuded made her feel weak. The way he made love to her was like he owned her and knew what she needed, when she needed it. She pushed her head into her pillow and screamed. 

What am I doing? She thought to herself. Maybe I could call him and tell him I will try to be with him? But then again, when the need for him becomes too overwhelming what will I do? She didn't want to be the reason he violated his faith. She sighed as she cried into her pillow. Why did life have to be so complicated? She mused.

She had showered when she got in and put on fresh clothes, but she felt tired and miserable. She yearned for Shane's arms around her, not only to caress and make her feel beautiful and desirable, but to also make her feel safe and protected. Understood. She sobbed a little louder feeling like a fool. 

****

Carli stepped onto the threshold of their apartment. They had gotten into Kingston by 4:30 p.m. and were able to get to their home by 5:20 p.m. She helped Jason with carrying in their bags. There were a few more things she needed to get from her aunt's house. She would probably get them tomorrow. 

Seeing it would be a Monday she would have to go in to work first, but no matter, Jason would pick her up from work and they could head over to her family's house and let them know they were back in town. They could catch up with them and then gather the last of her things, and she could start her life officially with her new husband.

When Jason had got everything into their tiny living room/bedroom space he stretched and opened his arms to her. She came to him and rested her head on his chest. "We're home," she said to him with a carefree sigh. Jason rubbed her back. "Yes, we are," he said. He bent his head and kissed her soft lips. He rubbed her back and began rocking her body side to side in his embrace. 

"You hungry?" she asked him. 

"Mhm," he said.

"It's not too late we can order take out or I can make you something," she told him. Jason nodded then kissed her brow. 

"Okay, we can order food," he told her. She moved away from him to retrieve her phone from her hand bag and dialed a food delivery vendor. She circled her free arm around his trim waist while she listened to the phone ring. Jason pulled her closer and stroked her back. "Hi, yes," Carli said as she heard someone answer her call. "I want to order a sweet and sour chicken, and rice and peas." She looked up at Jason, " What for you honey?"

"Stewed chicken, boiled corn if they have any, two pieces, and rice and peas," he said. Carli repeated his order to the order taker, and also told her their address.. They would pay cash on delivery. The order taker repeated their orders to her. Carli confirmed the information relayed. The young lady told them they would receive their food in half hour. Carli thanked her then hung up.

When the food came, Jason went to the door, collected the food and paid the delivery man cash. He brought the containers back to the small kitchen and rested it on the table/kitchen counter. 

Carli exited the bathroom and came up behind him. She circled her arms around his waist, resting her head on his back. "My sweet baby," she said while closing her eyes. Jason turned around to face her. He chuckled softly. "You're the sweet one. Every sweet, beautiful inch of you," he said. He bent forward and kissed her neck. Carli let out a soft breath and closed her eyes. "I love you," she said, sighing happily.  Jason cupped her face. "And I love you my sweet Carli," he replied. 

He turned back to the table and opened the bag that held the food containers. Carli came from behind him, and stretched on tiptoe up to the cupboards to take out two plates and two glasses. She rested them on the kitchen faucet. "You'll buy some orange juice at the shop down the road?" she asked. 

"Oh yeah," he nodded. Realising they never asked the vendor about beverages, he grinned at her. He reached in his pocket for his car keys. "Be right back," he said. He kissed her cheek quickly then went through the door, closing it quietly. 

When Jason got back he saw that the lights in the house were turned off. He opened the door and stepped inside. He looked around in the immediate space he was in, there was no sign of Carli. He flipped the switch on and waited for his eyes to adjust to the light. He called out to her. "Carli, baby?" He heard no sound. "Carli?" he called out again. 

Moving further into the room he heard movement. He went to investigate in the bathroom. He opened the door and found Carli hiding behind the shower curtain in red lingerie. She giggled when she saw his reaction. 

Jason circled his arms around her waist and lifted her out of the tub/shower. He carried her to their bed and laid her down. "Didn't you hear me calling?" he asked. Carli nodded. "I just wanted to be a little mischievous," she said. Jason observed her mischievous smile and the way her cute nose crinkled as she spoke to him. He sat on the bed beside her. "Carli, you almost scared me. I wondered if someone had come and snatched you from me." He leaned forward and touched her face.

Carli sat up and reached out to touch his hand. "Baby, as you can see I am fine. I just wanted to be a little funny. I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable. Okay? I didn't mean to." She moved towards him and touched his face. She leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around her. "I love you," she said. 

"I love you sweet baby," he said, kissing her brow. "Okay, let's eat."

Carli nodded. She stood up to go into the bathroom. "Where are you going?" Jason asked. 

"I'm gonna put on a blouse and maybe a skirt or something," she replied. "We're gonna eat so I will just change."

Jason shook his head. He held on to her hands and pulled her to sit beside him again. "No baby," he said eyeing her hungrily. "Don't you know what comes after dinner?" he asked.

"What?" she asked.

"Dessert, and right now you're the special on the menu," he told her. 

He kissed her passionately till she felt breathless. Then he went and plated their food and poured the orange juice in the glasses Carli retrieved for them. He brought everything over to her in a tray. 

"Bon appetit, baby," he said teasing her. Carli chuckled. She really loved this man.

****

Sandra was plating dinner for her husband and son. She had made Lissa favorite meal: stewed peas with chicken feet, pieces of beef and pig's tail, with white rice. "Lissa is here, right?" she asked Brandon. She handed her husband his plate, then gave Brandon his and began dishing food for herself.

Brandon nodded. "Yeah, she's here. She came in earlier while I was watching TV. Some guy dropped her off," he said then started eating. Sandra looked at her husband. Marcus shrugged his shoulders, then went back to eating. Sandra sighed. She opened the fridge and poured out three glasses of June plum juice from a large plastic jug. She handed Marcus and Brandon a glass. After she put the jug back in the fridge she sat down and began to eat. 

She looked at Brandon again. "Was it Derrick?" she asked her son. Brandon paused as if thinking about it. He resumed eating. He shook his head. "No, it wasn't. It was some other guy. Derrick is light skinned. This guy had a darker complexion, but I would say he's more good looking than Derrick." With eyebrows raised, she mixed the stewed peas into the rice. She took a few bites of her food, then got up and went upstairs. She stood at Lissa's bedroom door and knocked. "Honey?" she called. "Lissa?"

Yes mommy," was the faint reply. 

"Baby, you okay?" she asked. "Food is ready? You hungry? I made your favorite, stewed peas and rice."

"Okay, mommy I'm coming down. Just give me a minute," Lissa replied.

"Okay honey," Sandra said feeling concerned. She went down the stairs and sat at the dining table. Marcus looked at her. "She says she'll be down in a minute," she said answering his silent question. Marcus nodded and resumed eating his dinner.

After five minutes, Lissa came downstairs and sat at the dinner table. Sandra got up and reheated the food, then shared it for Lissa. She also poured her a glass of the June plum juice, then sat down. 

Just then, Lissa's phone rang. She dipped her hand in her shorts' pocket and retrieved it. She looked at the screen, a feeling of consternation came over her as she saw who the call was from. It was from Shane. She stared at the screen feeling panic rising in her. She wanted to answer, but she felt lost. Lissa stared at the screen until the call ended. She put the phone on the table and started eating. The phone rang again. Sandra looked at her. "Aren't you going to answer that," she asked her.  Brandon stretched his neck over to look at the phone screen. "Who is Shane?" he asked. Marcus cleared his throat. "Lissa, answer the call," he told her sternly. 

Reluctantly, she picked up the phone and answered it. "Hello," she said. Her voice sounded foreign to her.

 "My sweet Lissa. Baby, I need to talk to you. I want to talk to you. I wanna hold you," Shane said. Lissa could hear the yearning in his voice. His deep voice sounded gruff and sensual. She closed her eyes and bit her lip as she remembered what they did earlier. "I can't," she said then hung up. 

Sandra and Marcus locked eyes together. Unsaid messages passed between them. Marcus looked at his daughter and grunted. He chewed his food and watched her. Sandra sighed. She bit into a chicken foot bone and cracked it. She sucked and chewed it carefully. Spitting it out in smaller pieces in her hand, she looked at her daughter also. Sandra placed the bone fragments at the edge of the plate and shook her head. She would confront Lissa after they all finished eating.

Within ten minutes there was a knock on the door. The family wondered who it was. Brandon got up to answer the door. Lissa was barely eating her food. Sandra looked at her. "If you keep this up, you'll lose the curves you've worked hard to put on," she retorted. Lissa looked up at her mother and shrugged her shoulders. 

Brandon walked into the room first then looked back as Shane walked into the dining room. Lissa stared at him in shock. He came forward and cleared his throat. "Good evening, Mr. Dixon, Mrs Dixon. I'm sorry to visit your residence so late, but I really need to speak with your daughter," he said. He turned his gaze to Lissa and saw her pale, frightened expression. 

Sandra stood up. "You're the person who called earlier?" she asked. 

Shane nodded. "Yes," he said.

"And you brought Lissa home earlier today?" she asked.

Shane nodded. "Yes," he replied.

"She spent the night with you?" Sandra asked assessing him.

Shane cleared his throat. "Yes."

Sandra looked at her daughter. "Lissa, I think you need to speak to this young man," she said her eyes boring into her child. Lissa looked at her mother, then looked at Shane. She got up and ran upstairs. She heard both her mother and father call after her, but she couldn't face them or him right now.

Marcus gestured towards the empty chair Lissa had previously occupied. "Have a seat," he told him. Shane walked towards the chair and sat down. Sandra looked at the young man's flushed, tired face. "Would you like some water?" she asked him.

Shane nodded. Brandon spoke up, "I'll see if I can get her to come down." He went upstairs.

Sandra brought Shane a cool glass of water. He took it from her and nodded. "Thank you," he said sipping it slowly. 

Marcus cleared his throat. "And your name is?" he asked.

Shane put the glass down on the dining table. "Shane Crosby. I'm a work colleague of Lissa's, but ..." he paused.

"But what?" Sandra asked.

Shane sighed. "I'm also in love with your daughter," he admitted.

"Are you a police officer or ...?" Marcus asked.

Shane nodded. "Yes, I'm a cop. Rank of Sergeant," he answered. 

With eyebrows raised Marcus looked at his wife. Sandra looked at him and sighed. 

****

Brandon knocked on Lissa's door. "Lissa Bissa, you okay?" He called her the name of endearment he gave her as a child. He heard shuffling inside the room. "Branno, I'm okay. Just tell mommy and daddy I'm feeling tired." 

"Lissa, open the door please," he said. 

"No, please, just go. I'll be fine," she said.

Brandon sighed. "You know I will kick the door down like the last time." When Lissa was in her teens and early twenties, she used to have very terrible dreams. They started happening after she was raped. 

One night she had such a terrible dream she was screaming before she was properly awake. Brandon's room is next to hers. He thought she was being attacked, so he kicked her door down. Though he was a child then, he was physically strong. In terms of height, Brandon towered over all the members of his family now as a young man in his twenties, even his dad who was 6'3".

Lissa sighed and opened the door for him. She sat back on her bed. He sat beside her and looked at her. 

"What's up with you?" he asked. "Who is the guy down stairs? And why does he look like he lost his shadow?" His lips curled into a slight smile as he said the last part. Lissa shook her head and chuckled softly. 

"His name is Shane Crosby. He's a police colleague of mine. He brought me home earlier," she said.

"You mean he took you home after you stayed over with him, right?" Brandon said looking at her pointedly. Lissa looked down at the floor.

"So what's the problem between you too? You can tell me," he told her.

Lissa sighed. She lifted her gaze but stared at the picture of her grandmother on the wall. Grandma Berry always knew what to do. She missed her now more than ever. "Derrick broke up with me. Shane's been very kind to me, comforting me. He's been very understanding and ..."

"Did you guys sleep together?" Brandon asked plainly, interrupting her.

Lissa looked at her brother, blushed, then averted her eyes from his gaze. Brandon nodded. "I'll take that as a yes," he said soberly. 

He reached his hand out and squeezed his sister's hand. "You like this guy?" he asked her.

"Yeah, I really do," she said. 

"So if you're no longer with Derrick, what's the problem?" Brandon asked puzzled. "He seems to like you back."

"It's not that simple," she said, her eyes beginning to water again. 

Brandon moved closer and hugged his sister. She received the hug but wished it was from Shane. She felt so conflicted. 

"So tell me," he said, drying her eyes. 

"He's a Christian and he wants us, he and I, to wait until marriage. He wants us to date without the physical part of a relationship," she told him.

"But y'all already crossed the line," Brandon said a little perplexed. Lissa nodded. "I can't do it Branno," she said feeling panic rising in her. "I really like him, but I can't wait. I don't think I can. And there's no guarantee, we'll end up together." 

Brandon sighed. "Do you love him?" her brother asked her.

Lissa sighed. "I care about him, but the thing is, I really want to. I want to learn to love him. He's been very understanding. I just don't know," she said looking down at her hands.

"Lissa, what does your heart say?" he asked her.

"I want to give him a chance. But it's not that. I know myself Branno. I'm gonna want to have sex. I might seduce him and I don't want to be the reason he violates his faith," she told him.

"I see," Branno said nodding. "What if he's willing to take the risk?  What if he thinks you're worth it? You're telling me you can't refrain from sex for a few months or a year?"

She looked at him shocked. 

Brandon held his hand up to stop her protests. "Hear me out," he said.

Lissa pursed her lips.

"If there was no Derrick, and you were single before now, you would have to abstain. If you had no man Lissa, what would you do, hmm?"

Lissa wringed her hands. Brandon looked at her hands. That was a clear sign of her anxiety resurfacing. He grabbed her hands and clasped them in his. "Lissa, I know you're my big sis and I'm your little brother, but listen to me. Sex is not everything: love, companionship; being understood is more important. Why not abstain with him? Why not be celibate? If you guys don't work out at least you'll have gained something," he told her.

"What?" she asked him.

"You'll find out if this man really loves you and you'll gain a lift in your self worth for waiting, or at least being celibate until the right guy comes along, if it's not your friend downstairs," he said. "Derrick never deserved you. He had no right to ask you for that threesome. With being celibate you can see if a man values you enough to wait. That is a beautiful thing Lissa. You're my sister, I don't want to see you hurt anymore." Brandon playfully pinched her chin.

Lissa smiled a little. She confided in Brandon about Derrick's request, but did not dare tell her parents. 

"Ah, there's my Lissa Bissa," he chuckled. 

Lissa smiled more broadly. "Thanks Branno," she said. 

"No problem," he said. "Now go downstairs and tell your friend how you feel about him. I think you love him, but you're scared. He's not like Derrick and that is a good thing."

Brandon stood and pulled Lissa to her feet. He opened the door for her. Lissa stepped out of the room and walked down the stairs to see the door closing. She looked at her parents. "He got tired of waiting," Sandra said.

Lissa ran towards the front door, opened it and ran outside to see Shane starting his car. She threw herself on the bonnet as it moved off slowly. Shane shut off the engine immediately. He stepped out and came around to her. "Lissa are you crazy?!" he shouted in shock. "What are you doing?!" 

"Shane," she said standing up. She went to him. "Please forgive me for being scared. I want to be with you."

Shane embraced her. He looked at her feet, there was a scratch on the shin of her left leg. "Crazy woman," he sighed. He cupped her face. "Are you sure?" he asked her, "As I said, we can't," he said.

"Can I at least kiss you?" she asked him "And hold you close sometimes?"

He nodded. "Yes, I think we can work with that," he told her. 

"Can I kiss you now?" she asked him.

Shane smiled lovingly at her. "Sure," he said. He bent his head and gently brushed his lips on hers. Lissa opened her mouth slightly and he kissed her deeper but held back a little. He squeezed her close to him. 

"Eh hem!"

Lissa looked towards the house and saw Brandon and her parents standing there watching them. Shane looked at them and smiled apologetically. "I love your daughter," he told her parents. "I want to marry her very soon if she will have me." He looked back at Lissa who was grinning happily. She rested her head on his chest. She liked the idea of being his wife. She was surprised that the thought didn't scare her.

Shane looked at her leg again. "You're bleeding a little. When we get home I'll take care of it," he told her. "I want to take you home with me tonight. You can stay with me a few days a week and be here with your parents other days. Is that okay with you?"

Lissa nodded. "I would like that," she told him.

He touched her face. "Get some sleepover clothes, whatever you need, and your clothes for work tomorrow," he instructed her. "I can't be away from you for long. Lissa, I need you." 

Lissa sighed. She hugged him. "Okay," she said. "I feel the same way. I was miserable before you came," she said. She stood on tiptoe and kissed him tenderly, then went into the house. 

She went upstairs and hurriedly started to pack a small travelling bag. Brandon entered the room and began helping her choose clothes to take with her. He helped her choose comfortable casual wear and two flip flops for walking in the house. She pulled out her favorite pair of black pumps she usually wore for work and three work suits, already pressed and on hangers. She folded them carefully and put them in a separate compartment of her bag, but put the shoes and flip flops in a plastic bag she would carry in her hand. She also packed a toothbrush, her body wash and bar soaps, toothpaste, deodorant, and clean underwear. 

When she came downstairs, her mother stopped her at the door. "Are you sure about this?" she asked her.

Lissa nodded. "Yes, I am," she said smiling. 

"Okay," she said. Sandra stepped away from the door. 

When she stepped outside her dad was talking to Shane. Marcus hugged her then went into the house. Shane opened the passenger side for her. Lissa slipped inside and got comfortable. When Shane sat in the car, she turned to him. "What did he say to you?" she asked. Shane shook his head and smiled. He backed the car away from the house and put it in 'drive'. The vehicle lurched forward and picked up speed. 

"He told me that he's not a violent man, but if I ever hurt you he would break my legs." He looked at Lissa and chuckled. Lissa was shocked, but laughed. "What did you say?" she asked, her mouth open in surprise.

"I told him he had nothing to worry about because I love you and your happiness is my priority. Plus, I like the ability to walk, so I will make sure I take care of you."

Lissa laughed harder. She leaned on him slightly. Shane chuckled and put his arm loosely around her as he drove them home.

****

After he had cleaned and put a band-aid on her tiny cut in the bathroom, Shane lifted her and brought her into the bedroom. He laid her gently on his bed and lay beside her. Lissa turned her body to face him. He lifted his hand and brushed hair away from her face. "I can't believe you're here with me," he said. His gaze softened as she stared at him. Lissa blushed. "Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked. She felt like a giddy school girl.

"I've wanted you here with me, it seems like forever," he told her. Lissa moved closer to him. "Well, here I am," she said to him. He leaned towards her and gently kissed her lips closing his eyes. Lissa reciprocated but held back a little. She would work with his pace in the relationship. She knew it would be difficult for her, but at the same time she wanted to be with him. She wanted to explore these feelings between them. 

As he pulled away from her lips, Shane touched her face. He went into the living room and drew her traveling bag into the bedroom. He held the bag with the shoes and flip flops in his left hand. He sat on the bed and tucked them under it close enough, so she could easily reach them. 

He opened the duffel bag. "Let me help you put these up," he said smiling at her. Carefully, he pulled out her work clothes, stood up and laid them out on the bed. He sat down again but made sure he wasn't sitting on her professional attire. He took out the other clothes, looking at them with an amused expression on his face. 

She brought two snug looking jeans shorts, a jeans skirt that would touch her mid-thigh, a pair of faded jeans, and a pair of cotton shorts. She also brought four white t-shirts with her and a black tank top. Shane chuckled quietly. She was really gonna be with him. He couldn't believe it! He grinned happily. 

Seeing his reaction, Lissa came up behind him, opened her legs so that her feet were on either side of him and circled her arms around his arms. She placed her head on his right shoulder. Shane leaned back gently on her. She held him and sighed. "I'm sorry I never noticed you before. Can you forgive me?" she asked.

He closed his eyes. "Everything happens at the right time. In His time," he told her. "I wasn't ready, but now I am. And I think you're ready for this relationship too." Lissa breathed in his cologne. Such a pure, sensual, masculine scent really fit his persona to a 'T'. No wonder he bought it for himself. She squeezed him closer. 
She was curious about something. "Where will you sleep tonight and other nights when I stay here?" she asked. He touched her hands as she held him. "I'll sleep on the pull-out couch," he said.

"It's a pull-out couch?" She was surprised. 

"Mhm," he said. He gently massaged her hands. 

"Is it comfortable?" I want you to be comfortable in your own home," she said.

Shane laughed softly. "I'm comfortable in your arms right now," he replied. Lissa blushed and giggled softly. Just a giddy headed girl, she mused to herself. He lifted her right hand to his lips and kissed it. "It's very comfortable, and with you being here I will sleep even better, knowing my dreams are finally coming through." Lissa was touched by his words. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and released it slowly. Yes, she wanted this relationship. "You okay?" he asked her kissing her hand again. 

She straightened up on her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck. She sighed then said, "I love you." The words were soft, almost a whisper, but Shane heard the emotion behind it. He turned, circled his arms around her waist and pulled her body around to rest on his lap. He made sure her head was comfortably cradled on his left arm. He looked into her eyes. "Are you sure? I'm not forcing you to say it. You don't have to if you're not ready," he said.

She touched his lips. "I'm ready," she told him. She observed the expression on his face. Was he upset? Doesn't he believe me? She wondered. "I'm not pretending," she told him.

"Why did you change your mind about the relationship?" he asked her. 

"My brother helped me to understand I was throwing away a good thing. He also told me that he felt that I loved you, but I was scared," she answered.

"Are you scared?" he asked her. 

"A little, yes," she replied. "I don't want to be hurt again. There's something you should know about me, but I'll tell you later," she said.

Shane saw the fear in her eyes. He touched her face. "You can tell me now. I've seen a lot of things, trust me. Just like with the threesome thing Lissa, I won't judge. I wasn't an angel." 

Lissa sat up and stared at the wall before them. 

"When I was seventeen I disobeyed my parents and snuck out to be with a boy I thought loved me." She looked at the floor. She sighed deeply. "He ... " Lissa started to wring her fingers. Shane noticed that was a habit she did when she was nervous. He wondered where it stemmed from. He rubbed her back. "It's okay Lissa, tell me. I'm here to listen."

Her eyes watered. She tried to squeeze the tears back from falling. "He raped me," she said softly. She began to sob quietly. Shane pulled her to him and closed his eyes. He rubbed her arm. "You're safe now. I won't let you go and no one will hurt you again," he told her. "Please stay here with me?" she asked him. "We don't have to do anything, just hold me close, please."

Shane opened his eyes and kissed the side of her head. "Okay, I will stay with you tonight," he said. He stared at the floor, trying to digest this new information. He wanted her to trust him with everything.

After they put away her clothes in the closet, Shane allowed Lissa to bathe first, then he went in and showered. As he washed himself off he thought about what she told him. No wonder she was a little tightly wound at times, and very skeptical of male company. Derrick posed no threat to her heart because he made no real demands on her. She was drawn to the indifference he possessed, but was hurt when that same nonchalance made him reluctant to marry her. 

Shane shook his head subconsciously. He couldn't be like him. He and his brother saw what a loving, passionate relationship was like in the example of their parents. And that was how he wanted to love and be loved. 

He turned off the knob and stepped out on the mat and dried himself with the big, blue, fluffy towel. He would ordinarily walk into his bedroom naked, but this time he put on underpants before going inside. He walked in, pulled out the top drawer of his wardrobe and took out pajamas his cousin bought him last Christmas before she migrated. 

Lissa lay on the bed watching him. He got dressed quickly and turned to look at her. She was wearing a night gown made of thin fabric, but it covered her adequately. He went to her and lay beside her. Pulling her close to him, he nuzzled her neck playfully. She giggled then smiled at him. 

"Thank you," she said. 

"You are most welcome," he told her. 

He fluffed up one of his pillows and gave it to her. She took it and grinned at him. Resting her head on it, she turned on her side to look at him. He turned to face her.  He was sleepy but loved looking at her. 

He would tell her about his concerns tomorrow. He wanted her to open up to him, to give herself to him unreservedly. For right now though, they would talk and court, and learn each other's tendencies, because hopefully very soon, he would go down on his knee and ask her to be his wife. He needed her to be sure he was what she wanted. He touched her face. He adjusted his head on his pillow and moved closer to her.

"Get some sleep, baby," he whispered tenderly.  He blew her a kiss. 

Lissa smiled at him. "I love you," she said. Shane saw the vulnerability on her face and heard the trembling in her voice. He could sense her fear, but he also realised that she was trying. 

He touched her face. "I love you baby," he said, knowing that by saying those words, he was committing to loving all of her, including her quirks, insecurities and flaws. She closed her eyes. Shane watched her sleep for a little while and felt a sense of duty to her. He would make sure she knew just how much she meant to him. He closed his eyes and drifted off into sleep.