Chapter 4: My Lissa, not yours.

 

"She may have been yours, but she's mine now. Mine!"

 

Shane stretched and yawned quietly. He turned on his side and looked at the beautiful woman sleeping beside him. After they made love the second time, it was late, she convinced him to sleep over. He didn't mind, her bed was comfortable, but having her as beautiful company was even better. 

They fell asleep with arms around each other. Lissa insisted on being cuddled and he had to admit he loved feeling her soft, voluptuous curves on him. Somehow, during the night as they slept, their bodies were separated. 

He moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Lissa stirred, mumbled sleepily and stretched. She opened her eyes. Feeling strong, but gentle arms around her, she smiled as she remembered her encounter with Shane the night before. 

"Good morning Sergeant Shane, Lissa Dixon reporting for duty sir. What will you have me do?" she teased him.

Shane chuckled and drew her closer to rest on his broad chest. He gently nibbled on her ear lobe and neck. Lissa moaned softly. She felt weak for him. It had been a long time since she felt like this. 

As he bit gently into her neck, she made little whimpering sounds. Slowly, he caressed her from behind. "Shane, what is this that you're doing to me?" she asked airily. She was having difficulty controlling her emotions.

Shane smiled. "What do you mean?" he asked, then resumed nibbling her neck and ear. He playfully pulled on her neck sharply, just to get a reaction out of her.

Lissa gasped and closed her eyes. "You make me feel so weak. Your touch is intoxicating." 

Shane groaned and squeezed her body. "Lissa, if you only knew what being near you is doing to me." 

He chuckled. "I can't get enough. This feeling is like not eating for days. I'm ravenous." He cupped her breasts from behind and massaged them. Lissa bit her lower lip and moaned his name, "Oh god Shane, you're driving me crazy!"

"Lissa, you're driving me crazy. Let's drive each other crazy then," he said laughing softly. He put his arms around her shoulders, turning her to him. He kissed her lips passionately and they made love.

At around 4:30 a.m., Lissa showered, went downstairs and made him breakfast. For some strange reason she knew he liked black coffee. Musing about this, she thought of the other things she subconsciously knew about him. He liked black coffee, yes. He also loved a good jerk pork. He had no children but wanted them. He was the top student of his class at the police academy. He was a good dancer, especially moving his body seductively. 

She caught him in action one time at a colleague's birthday party. He asked her for a dance. She had declined, so he went to dance with another young woman but all the time he danced with her, he stared at Lissa and moved his waist in a suggestive way. Lissa remembered how aroused she felt watching him, but pretended not to care. She bit her bottom lip and shook her head. Maybe it was good they were now exploring the spark between them.

She made scrambled eggs for him and toast slathered with butter. She poured a glass of orange juice along with some hot black coffee in a mug for him. When she came upstairs carrying the tray with his food, she heard the shower running. 

She laid the food on the night table and entered the bathroom. She could only see his silhouette through the shower's glass door. She bit her lip. She wanted to be in there with him. Instead, she cleared her throat. "Shane, I made you breakfast," she said.

"Okay, thank you honey." She heard him answer. She left him and entered the bedroom. Laying on her bed, she closed her eyes. Yesterday's sick day was the best one she ever had. She smiled and hugged herself. Shane exited the bathroom naked, using her towel to finish drying his body. Lissa looked at him and was surprised to see that his member was hard. She couldn't believe it. "Are you always this ... um this ..." Her words escaped her as she looked at him.

"What?" he asked. He followed her gaze and looked down at himself. He chuckled. "It happens subconsciously sometimes. Yes, I was thinking about you, but not in a sexy way. I guess 'he' wants more," he said smiling at her cheekily. He handed the towel to her. Lissa placed it on her lap and watched him. 

He went towards her chair to retrieve his clothes, turning his back to her. Lissa let out an airy breath as if being punched in the stomach, when she observed the sinews in his back flexing as he moved. She looked at the scratches she made on his back the night before. She was glad they weren't very deep. Next time she would have to control herself better. 

Shane heard her released breath, turned to look and winked. "And the word is insatiable. I can be," he said teasing her. He came to her and cupped her face. His crotch was at her eye level. Her throat felt dry. She swallowed and looked at it. 

"Lissa," Shane said, his voice deep and gruff. "If you keep looking at me like that I'm gonna have to call in sick too, and make sure you don't go to work today either." Lissa blinked and looked up at his face. 

"I ... I'm sorry," she said shaking her head as if to clear her thoughts. Shane chuckled. He bent down and kissed her lips briefly. He moved away from her and started putting on his clothes. "I'm gonna swing by my brother's house and get some clean clothes. Luckily, I sleep there sometimes and his house is nearby work. Next time I want you to stay with me," he told her. He looked over at her and smiled. Lissa's breath caught in her throat when she saw the sexy smile he gave her. She blinked again and looked away from him. 

When he was finished dressing, he came over and sat on the bed, placed the tray with his breakfast on his lap and started eating. He was starving, but didn't realize it until he took the first bite of the food. Their love making had filled his senses. He shook his head and chuckled softly. Lissa looked at him curiously. "What is so funny?" she asked, turning her gaze to him.

He looked over at her, smiled and shook his head. "Oh, nothing baby. It's perfectly fine." He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Food is delicious Lissa, thank you." He gazed at her, his eyes showing his appreciation. He stuffed some eggs in his mouth and smiled at her as he chewed. He nodded. "Nice baby, nice," he told her. Lissa smiled back at him. 

"What time will you be coming to work today?" he asked.

"I'll be in at 10. If I never took the day I would be in by about one and leave at 2:30. But since I had to reschedule appointments I have four sessions today. Third session is with Moy Moy's grandmother. She says she wants to talk to me."

Shane nodded. He had developed a soft spot for the teenager. "You'll tell me what she says?" he asked.

"You know I can't tell you certain details, only what is relevant to the investigation will be divulged," she said.

Shane noticed how easy it was for her to switch to counsellor mode. He reached up and touched her face. He loved her. He leaned forward and kissed her lips tenderly. He moved back and smiled at her. "I wouldn't want it any other way. I respect what you do Lissa, that is the truth."

Lissa smiled. She was glad he understood.

After he finished eating, Lissa escorted him down the stairs. She rested the tray with the mug, glass, plate and utensils in the sink, then walked him to the gate. He looked lovingly at her, reached out and touched her face with his right hand. 

"Want me to bring you home tonight?" he asked her.

Lissa nodded and smiled. "Yes, I would like that."

"Okay, my shift should end at around 7, then I'll come and take you home." He gazed at her with a happy expression. "My Lissa," he said, "see you later, baby." He bent forward and kissed her passionately. Shane reluctantly released her lips. He was moving away from her when she spoke up.

"Shane, I've been meaning to ask you for a favor," she said a little nervous.

He turned his body halfway to look at her. "Sure, what do you need?" he asked her.

"We ... um ... we made love without protection. Could you pick up 'morning after pills' for me. Since you'll be on the road and I can't leave until about 6 o'clock?" she asked.

Shane turned fully towards her. He bent his head to touch her forehead. "Okay, not a problem. I guess we weren't very responsible. It's been a while. I don't walk with condoms like I used to," he told her. "I'll stop at a pharmacy nearby and see if I can get it, okay?" He touched her face.

Lissa closed her eyes, basking in his touch. "Okay. Thank you," she said.

He kissed her softly on the lips, then kissed her forehead. Staring at her one last time, he jumped in his vehicle, waved at her and drove off. 

Lissa sighed and went inside the house. She looked around. The house felt empty without him. She went into the kitchen and started washing the pots and plates from last night and that morning. 

She had to do a review of her cases before she left for work. She sighed and thought of her maybe new boyfriend. She blushed as she thought about it. Shane Crosby: her new boyfriend; her new lover? She grinned to herself. She said she would never be with him. She laughed to herself. Boy was she wrong!

****

Shane was heading over to his brother's house. He lived two blocks away from the police station. He called and luckily Shaun was already awake, and cheerfully agreed to unlock the front door for him, so he could just walk in. His brother mostly worked from home and dealt with international clients as an ACCA Certified Accountant. 

After he lost his job during that worldwide pandemic, he decided he needed change of pace. He started by doing freelance accounting/data entry and admin gigs on the internet until he found a company who was looking for someone to shadow their in-house accountants to make sure everything was accurate.    

Shaun converted a part of his bedroom into a home office, which meant that the large space he and his wife enjoyed for a bedroom was cut down, but Kerry never complained. She loved her husband dearly, and Shaun made sure she got whatever she needed or the family needed.

Shane pulled up at their gate and parked the car. He entered the house and walked  into the spare bedroom that was his to use whenever he needed it. He sent his brother a text that he was in the house, in his room. After about two minutes, there was a knock on the door. 

"Come in," Shane said. 

His twin brother Shaun opened the door and looked in at him. "Whapm boss? Yuh good?" Shaun asked smiling at his big brother.

Shane smiled back at him. "Yeah, I'm good, just coming for a change of clothes. He pulled out a clean JCF uniform from the wardrobe and started getting dressed. He stripped down quickly. Shaun averted his eyes, but something caught his view. He looked again and saw light scratches on his brother's back. 

Shaun stepped into the room and closed the door, averting his eyes again. When Shane was halfway dressed he looked at him closely. He had on his pants and was putting on a marina, a soft cotton shirt then his navy blue police officer's shirt.

"Bro were you in a cat fight or something?" Shaun asked his brother amused.

Shane was buttoning the last hole on his shirt, he turned around and looked at him confused. 

Shaun sat on the bed facing him. "You have scratches on your back," he told his sibling.

Shane shook his head and started to grimace. There was a point in one of their love making sessions he wanted Lissa to sit on him. She was a good sport for trying to do it with him, but was so overcome with the discomfort she felt, that she bit and scratched him. 

Ordinarily, he would have been flattered, but knowing that it was because he was causing her pain made him a little sad. He had quickly changed to a position she was more comfortable with. 

He looked at his brother who was now staring at him, expecting him to tell him why his back had scratches. 

"Well?" Shaun said.

Shane sighed. "Yeah, I never made it home," he replied.

"Oh? So where did you stray off to?" his brother asked him amused. 

"I spent the night with a friend," he said. 

Right ... so a friend or a friend?" Shaun emphasized the last 'friend'.

"A friend, a very special one," Shane said smiling.

"Hmm, okay, and what's her name?" 

"Melissa, but I call her Lissa," Shane said smiling.

Shaun noted the smile on his brother's face. "You like this girl?"

Shane nodded. He leaned on the bedroom wall. "Yeah, very much so."

"So you guys did something?" Shaun cheekily pushed his index finger in the cavity of his closed fist and did an in and out motion.

Shane laughed a little. He nodded. "Mhm."

"Well is this one serious or what?" Shaun asked him. He knew what his brother was like, before he professed faith in Christ. Shane sobered up. He nodded. "Yes, she is very serious. I told her I love her."

Shaun's eyebrows shot up in surprise. His brother rarely used the 'L' word. He stood up and stared at him. 

"You're serious?" he asked him.

Shane nodded smiling slightly. "Yeah I am. This is a girl I've wanted to be with since I first met her five years ago, when she was assigned to my station. But you know back then I was wild ..."

Shaun said, "Pssh! Ah suh yuh call it?", interrupting him. 

"Look, I'm glad I found Christ, okay. I was later to finding him than you, or he found me, but I'm glad you found him early. I was wayward, what can I say?" Shane said defensively.

Shaun came forward and patted his brother on his shoulder. "Better late than never bro. But you know you should be behaving yourself. You know you should not be indulging in sex until you're married."

Shane nodded. "I know. I didn't even think about it, which was wrong of me, but Shaun, she's gorgeous and just my type, all round and thick in the right places."

Shaun chuckled. "I hear you, but you ought not to," he reminded him.

Shane nodded. "Yup, I know. But now that we've done what we've done, I don't know what to do, she'll expect more of the same. And you know me, I hate to disappoint a beautiful woman." He laughed softly. Shane stuffed his sweaty uniform in the clothes basket by the left side of the bed. 

Shaun smiled a little as he watched him, then became serious. "Well bro, if you're serious, unless you're not serious about your change of lifestyle, you're gonna have to make her understand that you were weak and now this is the situation --you're a Christian and you're abstaining until marriage. And God help you to do the right thing!" Shaun had a sober look on his face. 

Shane sighed. He longed to be with Lissa from the first time he spoke with her and saw how compassionate she was towards her clients. He admired her very much and her beauty made it harder for him not to want to be with her. Now that the opportunity presented itself he couldn't walk away. Maybe he could have done things differently. Now he wondered what to say to her. 

"Do you love this girl?" Shaun asked him. He came closer and stood before him.

Shane nodded. "Yeah, I do," he told him.

"Well, love isn't selfish and it doesn't seek its own interest. If you love her, tell her you're serious about your faith, don't sugar coat it. And if you truly love Christ as you say you do, you will wait to have sex until you're someone's husband. If she loves you or cares she will try to work with you, but if she can't then it's not an indictment on her. It just means she wasn't the one." 

Shane still leaned on the wall while he listened to his brother. He sighed. "You know sometimes you act like you're the older of the two of us." He smiled at him. 

Shaun grinned. "You just beat me to the outside by two minutes bro, you're just lucky you turned your head first." He laughed. Shane moved away from the wall, reached out and slapped his brother on the shoulder. 

"Thanks," Shane said. He smiled at him.

Shaun smiled and said, "Anytime"

Where are my two nephews?" Shane asked.

Shaun opened the front door and called to his two nine year old boys. "Noah! Nathan! Your uncle Shane is here!"

Father and uncle heard a tumbling sound and saw both boys scampering downstairs towards them. They rushed into the bedroom and jumped on their uncle. Shane laughed and circled his arms around them, lifting  both in his arms, one boy on each arm. The boys giggled happily. 

"Uncle Shane!" Noah, the older boy shouted.

"You staying for breakfast?" asked Nathan. Shane amusedly looked over at his brother who was standing at the doorway looking at him and his sons. "Yeah, they still finish each other's sentences, like I can still say what you're thinking out loud," Shaun said. 

Shane put his nephews down. He sat on the bed and retrieved a pair of clean socks from a shoe box he had under the bed. He looked at the younger brother. "Nate, hand me my boots please."

"Some other time champ," he said looking at him. "I have to get to work at a certain time to get some stuff done."

Nathan brought the boots to his uncle. "Okay," Nate said sadly. Shane took the boots from him and gave his nephew a pat on the head. "Thanks." Leaning forward, Shane put his boots on quickly. "Tell you what, I will try to spend the day with you guys on Sunday after church. What do you say?" 

Nate grinned, he looked over at Noah who nodded. "Deal!" Noah said. Shane smiled at them both. He wanted children. Shaun saw the change in his brother's countenance. "Okay boys, go upstairs and get ready for school." Nathan held onto Noah's shirt sleeve and tugged at him. The two boys left the room and ran upstairs. 

Shaun leaned on the door jam. "Your time will come Shane, just pray about it," he told him. He scratched his stubbly beard. "Does your 'friend' want kids?"

"I don't know, honestly," Shane replied. Lissa had a very nurturing spirit that he was drawn to, but he wasn't sure if she would want to have children of her own.

"And you say you love her?" Shaun asked to confirm.

Shane stood up after lacing up his boots on his feet. "Let's put it this way, I've never felt this way about any one else."

"I hope she's worth it," Shaun said. He had a sober look on his face.

"Me too," Shane replied. To Shane, Lissa was his dream woman, but maybe he was delusional. He hoped not.

Shaun walked his brother to his car. "I'll take care of the uniform for you," he told him.

Shane was grateful. "Thanks. You sure? I was gonna come back for it later."

"It's no problem," he told him. 

Shane pat his brother on his shoulder. "Thanks." 

Shaun nodded and smiled at him. "No problem."

Shane sat in the driver's seat of his car and looked up at his little brother. He admired him very much.

"Where's wifey?" Shane asked him. 

"Some conference in Montego Bay," Shaun told him. 

Kerry was a physiotherapist and a very good one. After leaving university she was able to get a job working in one of the regional hospitals, and was now working for a private medical facility with branches in St. Andrew/Kingston, Manchester and Montego Bay. Shane was very happy for his brother. Kerry was a calm, patient woman, and very attractive. He nodded as he looked up at his sibling.

Shaun smiled at him. "So you'll pass by Sunday then?" he asked.

"Yeah, I guess we have some catching up to do," Shane replied. 

"Took the words right out of my mouth," Shaun said amused. 

"I am your other half, literally," Shane said smiling. He started his car engine. He listened to the sound it made. It was due for a tune up. 

Shaun tapped the roof of the car. "Be safe, y'ere?"

Shane nodded. "Will do." He drove off 

Shaun stood watching his brother until he turned the bend in the road then went inside.

****

Lissa heard the front door open and close, then footsteps walking through the house. While she drank her coffee, she skimmed through the relevant case files for that day. She was already dressed in her work attire. Her hair that was usually loose on her shoulders was up in a tight bun secured at the nape of her neck. 

She wanted to give the appearance of professionalism even though her insides felt as mushy as unset jello. She also applied a little makeup. She didn't know why, but she felt like applying a little today. She felt different, in a good way. She smiled to herself.

It still seemed surreal that she spent the night with 'Mr Chacha Bwoy' himself, and he told her he loved her. She wasn't so sure what to make of that either. She knew however that she was very attracted to him. And she did care about him. It was very possible her feelings could grow to love, but she needed to know where she and Derrick stood, before getting emotionally involved with someone else. In the meantime, she didn't mind experiencing Shane's lovemaking skills. 

She loved the way he touched her. She loved how he made love to her. He was gentle; very attentive and made sure to think about her comfort, which she was grateful for considering the package he was carrying.

 Lissa bit her lower lip when she thought of how good he felt inside her. She briefly closed her eyes as she remembered. She was determined to master him. She never backed down from a challenge, especially since she enjoyed the experience for the most part. She wanted more of him and she was gonna make sure she could handle him. She just needed to get used to his size, and she was determined to do just that. She heard footsteps coming slowly closer to her.

She waited patiently to see who had come home and saw her little brother Brandon entering the kitchen. Under his eyes were puffy and he looked disheveled. Lissa shook her head and continued to sip her coffee. She decided to do scrambled eggs and toast for herself as well. It was easiest thing for her to prepare without thinking.

Brandon pulled out a chair and sat beside her. "What's for breakfast?" he asked her.

Lissa looked at him, her left eyebrow raised. "I don't know what you're eating, but I'm having scrambled eggs and toast." 

Brandon sighed. "Suh Lissa yuh couldn't duh sumn fi mi? The worm dem a nyam mi tripe man. I'm starving."

Lissa looked at him with a no nonsense stare. "Branno yuh can cook. Mommy made sure of that. Si weh yuh cyan duh. I have to leave now." Lissa hurriedly stuffed her work bag with the files she placed before her on the table. She zipped up her bag and stood up. She heard a car horn outside. That must be her ride.

Lissa rushed out to the taxi she called ten minutes before Brandon walked into the house. Brandon stood at the door looking at her. He waved at her, she shook her head, sat in the vehicle and closed the door. She looked up to see her brother closing the door. She told the driver where she was headed and leaned back. 

She really needed to get a car. Now that her mom had sold her Nissan to Jason she had no access to a vehicle, unless her mom or dad were available to drop her off at work, or she got the opportunity to borrow their vehicles. Derrick was the one who would usually take her to work, but now he wasn't even speaking to her. 

****

Shane stopped at a pharmacy to purchase the 'morning after pills' she wanted. He was nervous asking the attendant for the product but decided he owed it to her to get it in spite of his embarrassment. The young lady was very discreet and got the item, gave it to the cashier, retrieved it from her and handed it to him away from the crowd of customers.

 He thanked her, winked and left quickly. When he jumped into his vehicle he wondered what other things he may have to buy for Lissa that would make him feel a little weird. If they became an official couple he probably wouldn't mind he thought to himself. As long as she appreciated that he did all the things he would do for her because he truly loved her.

He glanced at his watch. It was 8:30 a.m. He was a bit late, but he would try to get to the reports he needed to finish. He signed into the station's log book and greeted a few of his colleagues as he went to his desk. Sudanie walked passed him. She was on the phone. "Yes, he's here." He heard her say. "Give him the phone?" He heard her ask the person she was talking to. "Okay," she said.

 She doubled back and stretched the phone to him. He looked up at Sudanie. She gestured that he should take the phone. He took it from her hand. "Hello?' he said feeling puzzled. 

"Hey handsome," Lissa said playfully.

Shane relaxed. "Hey," he said. His face broke into a relieved smile. "How are you?"

"I'm feeling better thanks to you," she said. Shane could hear a playful quality in her voice. What was she up to? "I have to come in to work earlier than I expected. I actually have five session instead of four. My first one will be at 9 a.m."

"Okay," he said loving the sound of her voice.

"I was wondering if we could have lunch, off location somewhere else. I know someplace and it won't break our pockets," she said.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" he asked amused.

Lissa laughed softly.  "Okay, yes. You could say that."

"Okay." Shane found himself leaning back in the chair and smiling. Constable Sudanie looked at him very amused. Was something happening between the Sergeant and Lissa?

"I tried calling you, but your phone is off or on silent," Lissa said.

Sergeant Crosby took out his phone. He unlocked it and looked at the screen. The phone was on vibrate but he didn't realise it. Then he remembered that he put it on that feature because he didn't want to be disturbed last night. He chuckled. "I had the phone on vibrate," he told her. He put the phone on 'ring'. 

Lissa said, "Hang up. I'll call you back."

Shane smiled. "No, I'll call you back. Hang up."

"Okay," Lissa said. She ended the call. 

Shane gave Sudanie's phone to her.

He hit redial and called Lissa back, leaning back in his chair.

Constable Walker looked at the Sergeant's smile. She had a few questions for Lissa later. She walked away to use the restroom.

"I miss you already," Lissa said chuckling. "Can you believe it?"

Shane grinned when he heard her confession. "I feel the same way actually," he said.

"Really?"

"Mhm," he said. "You on your way to work now?" he asked.

"Yes I am," she replied. 

"I want to talk to you about something," he told her.

"Okay, during lunch?" she queried. 

"Yeah, sure," he said. He heard a car door slam. "You just arrived?"

"Mhm, yes," she said. She walked in, he looked up and smiled at her. He ended the call as she approached him. She stood at his desk and placed her hand on it. She looked down at her hand and looked at him. Picking up on her unsaid cues, Shane touched her hand briefly, covering it and squeezing before releasing it. He saw Lissa close her eyes when he touched her. He wished they were alone so he could do something about the yearning they both were feeling, but then again, he shouldn't. She opened her eyes and looked at him. "Later?" she whispered. 

He couldn't give her the answer he knew she wanted to hear, but he nodded. She moved away and headed to her office. 

After putting down her bag she reported to the Superintendent who greeted her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Feeling much better sir. Thank you for asking," Lissa replied politely. 

Superintendent Dacres nodded. Lissa smiled at him and exited his office. She went to her office and opened her case files and started reading.

 ****

At 12:25 p.m., Shane sent her a text saying he couldn't make it for lunch because of the duties he was assigned. She called him and told him she longed to be alone with him. To which he told her he felt the same way. She blew him a kiss and asked if they could grab dinner in the evening. He agreed, so she told him she would pay. He had chuckled and replied, "Anything you say honey." Lissa blew kisses at him then hung up. 

Just then, her good friend, Constable Walker knocked on her door and walked in. "Hey girl," Lissa said looking up at her. "Where were you this morning? Was looking for you?"

Sudie walked into the room watching her friend closely. She sat in the empty chair before Lissa's desk. "Was assigned to traffic enforcement," Sudanie replied. Lissa nodded that she understood. She had seen two clients before lunch. The young police officer suffering from a slight case of PTSD and a young woman battling depression. Now Lissa just wanted to unwind a little before she met with Moy Moy's grandmother. 

Sudanie looked at her friend and observed her tired expression. "You taking leave soon?" she asked her.

Lissa smiled and said, "Yeah, in July. I wanted it in June but Supe asked me to wait another month."

Sudanie nodded. "You look a little drained," she told her 

Lissa nodded. "I guess I do," she replied.

Sudanie leaned forward in the chair. "What's going on between you and Sarge?" She had a cheeky smile on her face.

Lissa laughed softly. "Will this be between us?"

Sudanie's left eyebrow shot up. "Okay ... Sure."

"We're kinda sort of seeing each other," Lissa said smiling brightly.

"Really?" Sudanie was intrigued. "I thought you said never?"

"I did and I meant it at the time, but now things have changed."

"How so?" Sudanie was really curious now. 

"I caught Derrick cheating on me with a woman much younger than me. Shane was there with me. As a matter of fact, he dropped me off at Derrick's work place. I was trying to kiss and make up with him, we had a heated argument the night before. When I went to his office, he wasn't there but he was at the restaurant we normally go to. Sergeant Crosby stayed with me, bought us dinner so that I could find out what Rick was up to. 

"Unfortunately, he was cheating on me. I saw him kiss the girl. I was so angry and upset I fainted, and Shane brought me home. He ... Well, we kissed and since then he's been very attentive and kind to me."

Sudanie listened carefully. "Do you like him?" she asked.

Lissa closed a file she had open on her desk. "I've always been fond of him. He's a good friend, as a boyfriend I was skeptical, you've heard the rumors about him."

Sudanie nodded. "Yes. Half of them aren't true, so I've heard," she said. "But I asked you a question: Do you like him?

"Romantically?"

Yes," Sudanie said nodding.

Lissa smiled. "Yeah, I've always been attracted to him, just skeptical. As I've said the rumors are out there."

"Well, I've heard them all," Sudanie said. "He's still a good person." 

"Sudie, you can't blame me. I didn't know what to think. But he has a very gentle side and he can be very considerate, from what I've experienced so far. Did you know he's a Christian now?" Lissa was still shocked about that revelation.

Sudanie nodded. "He told Supe and a few of us. The news got around. I think most of us know."

"So how come I didn't know?" Lissa asked feeling left out.

Her friend shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe you were comfortable with what you already knew or thought you knew about him, to care if anything new was happening in his life," she said.

Lissa felt a little offended. "What do you mean? We're close, he could have told me anytime," she retorted.

"He tried," Sudanie said looking at her pointedly.

Lissa felt a little confused. Her eyebrows knotted together. "When?" she asked.

Sudanie leaned back in the chair. "Remember that retirement party they kept for Deputy Commish Walsh and you were invited?" she asked.

Lissa nodded still clueless. "Yes, I do."

"Sarge asked you for a slow dance," Sudie said trying to jog her memory. Lissa thought about it. He had arrived late at the send-off party. Oh yes, she remembered now. She had her hair up in braids. She was wearing a tight black dress that brushed her knees, and black and gold stiletto heels.

Shane looked very dapper in a royal blue polo shirt, dark blue blazer and black jeans, and dark blue loafers. He wore a matching belt. His hair was low cut with waves at the time. 

He came over to her table and told her he needed to tell her something and wanted to dance with her. She told him she would talk to him later in the night, she needed to relax and unwind a little. When he came back to her later that night she wasn't in the mood to talk to him, because she saw him dancing with the Deputy Commish's daughter and was red with envy. She told him she was tired and would talk to him the next day. 

As it dawned on her how she had often brushed him off, she felt guilty. "How did you know about that?" Lissa asked her friend. 

"He told Sergeant Reynolds, but I was there listening. Lissa, Sergeant Crosby is one of the most honest men I know. He's done a few things in the past, so I've heard, but he's always clear on his intentions. He's always liked you. He just didn't feel comfortable asserting his feelings for you."

Lissa was puzzled now. "Why?"

Sudanie stared at her. Lissa dropped her gaze. She sighed. "Yes, the rumors affected my view of him. I've heard some things. Some sound very cruel, how he's treated women. Sudie, can you blame me? I don't want a broken heart. I've experienced enough pain. I don't want any more ..."

"But yet still you're with that banker guy," Sudanie said interrupting her. 

"You have something on your chest Sudie?" Lissa asked feeling a little annoyed with her friend.

"Matter of fact, I do, Lissa I've known you for two years, and you have been a good friend to me. We've gotten close over the years. While your boyfriend doesn't physically abuse you, he does in a way, he emotionally abuse ..."

"What are you talking about?" Lissa was really getting upset now.

"You guys argue a lot. If it's not one thing to do with the fact that he works all the time and has no time for you, then it's him belittling something you want to do and convincing you not to do it. Other times, he's subtly criticizing your weight. He's not attentive enough, he hasn't taken you out in months."

As Lissa sat and listened, she realized how much of her relationship with Derrick she had divulged to her friend. She should probably keep stuff to herself in the future she mused. She sighed. "What's your point?"

Sudanie paused. Seeing Lissa's body language she decided to be brief and blunt. "He's using you. You want to get married and he knows it. You've been together for five years now and yet still he hasn't said anything to you about working towards that goal. You ask him about it and he finds some way to change the subject."

Lissa's eyebrows shot up. Sudanie, seeing her reaction, pressed further. "Look hun, I hate to say these things to you. You were the one who told me them, and as your friend I have listened to you, held your hand when you cried and encouraged you to leave him, but you still stay."

"You don't understand. I love him, he ..."

"Yes, you love him, but Lissa, does he love you?" Sudanie's eyes bored into her. 

Lissa felt like railing up and putting her in her place, but how could she? All the details of the relationship were what she told her. 

"I ... I think I'm going to eat out today. I'll talk to you later," she told her.

Sudanie was about to respond when Lissa's phone rang. Lissa ignored the look on her friend's face and dug into her bag. She retrieved her phone and looked at the screen. She felt a knot growing at the pit of her stomach. It was Derrick calling her. She suddenly felt nervous. 

"Hello?" she said. Derrick's smooth voice came on the line. "Lissa, darling, how are you?" he said.

"Derrick, how are you? I'm okay, I guess, considering"

Sudanie sat up in the chair watching her friend. 

"Lissa, sweetheart, I'm really sorry about what you saw. It's all a misunderstanding. Can I take you to lunch ...", there was a pause, "please?"

"Okay, sure. I have an hour of lunch time. You can explain your actions to me within that time. Come for me within the next ten minutes," she said coldly.

Derrick said, "Okay, darling. I promise you, it's all a big misunderstanding." 

Lissa hung up. She looked at her friend. "I'm going to have lunch with Derrick," she said plainly. 

Sudanie nodded and stood up. "I guess you're gonna give him another chance to hurt you."

Lissa was getting impatient. "Look Sudie, you are my friend and I love you, but my life is my life, okay?"

Sudie lifted her hands palms up as if to say 'I surrender'. "Hear you loud and clear mama. I will not say anything further." Sudie's facial expression was grave. "I'm going to have lunch, so later." She walked out of Lissa's office without another word. Lissa sighed. She didn't mean to upset her, but she was going too far now.

At 12:40 p.m. Derrick came for her. She entered his car but said nothing to him. He leaned over and tried to kiss her on her cheek, but she put her hand up and blocked him. He stared at her intensely for nearly a minute then started the car and they were on their way. 

Within ten minutes they were in front a famous restaurant in New Kingston. He parked the car and she got out, not waiting for him. She walked towards the entrance and was about the open the door when he caught up to her and opened the door for her. She briefly looked at him and walked inside the establishment. 

Derrick realized she was not behaving like her usual self. When they had arguments and they made up she was all over him. He was perplexed by this new behaviour.  She spoke to the hostess at the front desk, who smiled kindly at Lissa, but with Derrick she gave a blank stare. The hostess brought them to a table and told them that a waiter would come to them shortly. 

Lissa looked around at the interior of the restaurant. They rarely came here unless it was a special occasion for Derrick. Mostly when he snagged a big client for his company or when he was celebrating gains in his personal investment portfolio. 

However, when it was something for Lissa to celebrate, he would just give her a hug and that was that. Only one time had he made a big deal about anything for her, and that was when she had successfully negotiated a raise in her salary. He took her out to get a latte and a warm croissant. She was in the mood, so they made love and he indulged her. But the next day, it was back to talking about commodities and trusts, and other investments she found confusing. That was a little over a year ago. 

She heard a ping sound. A notification came in on her phone. She took it out of her bag and looked at it. It was Shane sending a text asking if she was okay. He heard she was having lunch with Derrick. Lissa sighed. Sudie must have told him. Shaking her head, she replied, "Yes, Sergeant Crosby. I am perfectly fine. I'm just having a late lunch with my boyfriend. No need for you or Sudie to be alarmed." She sent the text.

Derrick was watching her. A waiter came and brought them the menu. She smiled at the young man. Derrick smiled at him also, but he refocused his gaze on her. Lissa looked away from him. Her phone was face down on the table. She had a feeling Shane would reply to that text quickly. She heard the notification come through. She was right. She opened her message thread. Shane replied with, "I see. Do you still need me to take you home later?"

"Maybe not," she texted back.

Shane replied, "Okay."

Lissa sighed and returned her phone to her bag. She figured he would be digesting that interaction between them and wouldn't text further. He'd probably confront her face to face hereafter.

"Who was that?" Derrick asked her. He was smiling but his eyes were boring into her. Lissa cleared her throat. "Work colleague," she said. She reached for the glass before her and sipped her water. Derrick picked up the menu and looked through it. "That police officer I saw you with two days ago?" He didn't lift his gaze.

"Yes, Sergeant Crosby had offered to take me to lunch, but at the last minute he couldn't. He heard I was out with you so he was checking to confirm," Lissa said trying to make it sound like everything was fine.

"And why does he need to check on you? If he heard you're out with me, why is that a concern to him?" Derrick asked. He lifted his eyes to look at her. He placed the menu on the table.

Lissa square her shoulders. You're the guilty one, not me, she thought defiantly. 

"Well, could it be because he saw that I had a nervous breakdown because I saw my boyfriend, who should have been my husband, kissing another woman? I fainted after you left Derrick. You hurt me."

Derrick cleared his throat. "About that," he began, "the young lady is the daughter of a very important client to my company. She just came back from Germany where she was studying, as a way to celebrate him renewing his contract with us. I offered to take her out for a few hours to make her feel welcome. Her father knew about it. Matter of fact, my vice president was aware of the dinner interaction. It was nothing serious Lissa."

"And the kiss? What was that? You were kissing her, really kissing her?" Lissa's eyes were throwing daggers at him. Derrick was liking this new feisty side. She was being confrontational, but not in the annoying way he was used to. 

He leaned forward and reached for her hand. Lissa pulled away from him. He was surprised at her reaction. With his right eyebrow raised he assessed her. Was she wearing makeup? She didn't wear makeup to work. 

"You're wearing makeup," he told her. 

Lissa nodded. "Yes," she said plainly. 

"The young woman Melody was drunk. I guess she finds me attractive, she initiated and ... "

"And you finished it," Lissa charged interrupting him. "I saw the kiss Derrick, you kissed her back. Am I to believe that the kiss was because you were trying to appease a client's daughter?"

Derrick looked at her closely. Where was this new fire coming from? He wondered. "Lissa did something happen between you and this police friend of yours?"

Lissa jerked slightly in her chair. Derrick observed the tiny reaction. "Well? Did you guys sleep together or something?"

Lissa was surprised at how quickly the conversation was flipped around to her actions. But she wasn't ashamed of what she did. "Yes. It wasn't supposed to happen, but he comforted me. I was a bundle of nerves. I was crying. He held me until I stopped crying. And yes, one thing led to another. Yes, Derrick I cheated on you." 

Lissa was becoming angrier as she spoke. Derrick sucked in his breath. When the waiter came Derrick told him what he wanted. He looked over at Lissa. "Just a chicken sandwich with lots of mayo and some orange juice, please," she told the waiter. The waiter nodded and left them. 

"So you slept with him?" Derrick asked.

Lissa nodded. "Yes."

"Did you like it?" he asked leaning back in the chair. He observed her body language.

"What do you mean?" Lissa sipped her water. She looked at the couple just entering the room. Derrick's voice dropped low, almost a whisper, but it sounded cold and menacing. "I asked you a question?"

Lissa looked at him. His dark brown eyes looked cold and piercing. She put her glass down. "Yes Derrick, I enjoyed it. He was very tender to me. He made me feel beautiful. You haven't cared enough to make me feel anything since last year.

"What are you talking about?" Derrick asked. He glanced quickly at his watch. Just then, the waiter and a colleague brought their food to them. They placed the food discreetly before them and left.

"Ever since you asked me for the threesome and I said no, you've treated me like a stranger," she accused him.

Derrick nodded. "So it's back to that then, eh? How many times do you want me to apologize for that, Lissa. I thought you would be open-minded enough to do it. You said yes then no. I told the girl it was off and moved on, but apparently you're still carrying that grudge."

"Carrying that grudge?" Lissa raised her voice. Derrick sat up. She looked around and saw the curious eyes of other patrons looking at her. She looked down at her food and started eating, breaking off tiny bits of the sandwich and putting it in her mouth. "I'm not carrying a grudge," she hissed.

"You've been spiteful. You don't touch me the way you used to," she said. She could hear her own voice trembling. "We don't have sex like before. We used to be at each other four to five times a day on the weekends. Sometimes two times during the week each night, or at least every other night if you had to work. Now, I'm lucky if you touch me. And if you do make love to me, you don't tell me you love me like you used to. You just do what you have to then you're done." Lissa felt her eyes begin to sting.

"I may never have a relationship with Sergeant Crosby, but he opened my eyes to something." She looked at Derrick sadly. She allowed a tear to fall down her face. 

Derrick was angry now, but he would contain himself. "And what's that?" he asked. His voice had a mocking tone.

"If a man wants you, he'll move heaven and earth to have you. Sergeant Crosby has liked me for the past five years. The past five years I've been waiting on you to propose to me; to make me a fiance then a wife."

She saw Derrick's reaction and sighed deeply. His exasperated look was of a person who was annoyed with a fragile thing that was falling apart, and they had the displeasure of putting it together again.

"Lissa, we've spoken about this. I didn't think we were ready. And obviously we aren't ready. Lissa, you cheated on me?" he said his voice was slightly raised.

"Ha! And how do I know you haven't been cheating on me Derrick? Hmm?" Lissa asked angrily. She tried to keep her voice low. "You remember that time you cheated on me? I forgave you! How do I know you haven't been cheating since then? If it's so easy to kiss a random girl, what else are you doing?" she asked him. Her eyes were welling up with tears. She allowed them to fall freely.

"Lissa, calm down!" he whispered sternly.

Lissa looked around her. The other patrons were minding their business. "I don't believe you Derrick. I don't believe she's just a client." She was about to tell him that she knew about the champagne, but didn't want Abbie to get in trouble. She bit her lower lip and restrained herself. "Have you slept with her Rick? I told you my dirty secret, but how about you? Hmm?" 

"What you saw was all that happened," he said. He resumed eating his food. 

"I don't believe you," she told him.

"Believe what you want, Lissa," he said frustrated. "As a matter of fact, do what you want. I'm tired of this. Tired of you!" He put down his fork. "Okay. Let's get it all out there," he said, his gaze boring into her. He observed her tear stained face and felt nothing. 

"Yes Lissa!" he whispered sharply. "Yes, I was disappointed that you changed your mind about the threesome. Yes, I was looking forward to it. Lissa, I love you, but you're like plain ice cream. You're like vanilla or grape nut. You can be quite bland. I just wanted to add a little chocolate chip to our sex life. I had a friend who knew a girl who was up for that kind of thing. A pretty girl, he gave me her number and we corresponded." 

Derrick leaned forward as he saw that his words were hitting her hard. "She agreed with the threesome, so I came to you and asked if you were interested. You being a university educated, open minded woman, I thought for sure you would see this as a way to spice things up a little."

Lissa covered her mouth to hold back the sobs. Derrick hissed his teeth. "Come, come Lissa, you're a big girl. Why the water works? Maybe I have been a bit resentful since then, but I never contacted the girl since that time. As for sex, maybe I'm bored." He shrugged his shoulders. "I came here to make up with you, but it's clear I wasted my time in this relationship. At one little misunderstanding you go off and sleep with another man. I no longer want this relationship." He observed that she was wringing the fingers of her hands together. She hadn't finished her food. "Lissa, are you going to eat your sandwich or what?"

"So you're breaking up with me?" Lissa felt herself trembling. 

Yeah, I guess so," he said.

Lissa sobbed. She stood up and was about to walk off, when he grabbed her hand. "Don't make a scene!" he spoke softly. She shook his hand off. Feeling empty and dejected, Lissa took up her bag. 

"Where are you going? I'll drop you back to work," Derrick said. He grabbed her hand again.

Lissa shook her head. "It's fine Derrick. I won't inconvenience you any further."

Derrick sighed. "Lissa, we were friends before we became lovers. And I am a gentleman. I can drop you off." 

"That won't be necessary," she told him. She took out her phone and dialed Sudie's number. 

"You're gonna call him?' asked Derrick in an accusatory tone. He squeezed her hand tighter. Lissa winced.

"No," Lissa said. "I'm calling the only person who has kept it real with me from the beginning, besides my family." 

She flashed off Derrick's hand and walked towards the foyer and out the front door. Sudanie answered the phone. "Yuh still vex wid mi?"

Lissa broke down. 

"Lissa, Lissa, what's wrong?" Sudanie asked concerned.

"I know it's kind of putting you on the spot, but can you come for me please?" Lissa said between sobs. 

"Yeah, sure, I can ..." Lissa heard a shuffling sound, then heard Sargeant Crosby's voice on the line.

"Lissa, where are you?" he asked her. He sounded angry. She told him the name and address of the restaurant. "I'm coming for you," he said.

"Shane no, please, he's here. I just want to get back to work," she pleaded. 

"If he doesn't threaten you or me, there won't be any problems. I'm coming for you." He ended the call. 

After twenty minutes, Derrick stepped outside. He made sure to finish his meal. Eating at that place was not cheap. He asked the waiter to put her sandwich in a disposable container. He handed the food to her. She took it but refused to look at him. "He's coming for you?"

Lissa did not respond.

Derrick sighed and shook his head. "After all these years, Lissa, I can't believe it's come to this. I thought you were a good girl. Can't believe you cheated. But you're such a hypocrite!" he told her. "If you can sleep with another man, why couldn't you do the threesome with me? Or was the gender the problem? You wanted a man and not a woman?" 

Lissa continued to ignore him. He stood in front of her, blocking her view of the road. "He's gonna come for you, but before he does, answer me Lissa. Why didn't you agree to do it with me? Were you and this Crosby guy doing things before now? Have you been cheating all this time?" His voice was raised a little higher. 

"No! I never cheated!" Lissa shouted. "I'm not like you. I grew up in a godly home. I went to church as a child. I am nothing like you. I would never! At that point we were a couple for four years! Derrick you've met my parents, my family. You should know I would never ... I was so hurt you even thought to ask me!"

"Lissa, you said yes!" he shouted in frustration. 

But I said no first! I was so in love with you. I was trying to psyche myself up to do it, but I just couldn't, the thought disgusted me. And knowing that afterwards you would probably want it all the time I felt hurt. I wondered if I wasn't enough, but earlier you confirmed it. I'm boring, eh?" Lissa spoke bitterly. 

She shook her head and walked past him to stand at the curb. Derrick marched after her and gripped her arms angrily. Spinning her around to face him, he pulled her up to his chest. Lissa tried to pull away but he held her tightly. "You think you can just leave me like that, Lissa? After everything we've been through?"

"Derrick you just broke up with me!" she shouted. "You, you said it was over. You said I was boring!"

"You cheated!" he yelled. 

Lissa struggled to get away from him. Derrick held her firmly. 

"Let her go!" A sharp voice roared behind them. Lissa looked beyond Derrick's shoulders to see Shane rushing towards them. With all the strength she could muster, Lissa wrestled away from Derrick's hold, and moved quickly to stand in front of him to stop Shane from doing something he would regret later. Derrick turned to Sergeant Crosby whose eyes had laser sharp focus on his face. 

Lissa put her hands out and grabbed Shane. She squeezed his arms and looked up at him. Shane looked down at her. "Shane, no!" she said her eyes pleading with him. Lissa looked deeply in his eyes. She saw fury burning in them. "Shane, honey, please," she said. She reached up and touched his face. 

"He hurt you?" Shane asked her.

She shook her head. "Only my feelings," she smiled ruefully. She rubbed his jaw gently. "I'm okay." 

Shane wrapped his right arm possessively around her. He pulled her to his side and walked with her to his car. She looked and saw that Sudie was sitting on the passenger side watching them. 

A small crowd had gathered outside the restaurant and were watching the proceedings curiously. She heard Derrick shout, "Mr big man. Mr police officer, yuh sleep wid mi woman. Yes, she's my woman. She soon get tired a yuh a come back to mi," Derrick said mockingly. 

Lissa looked up at Shane. She saw that his jaw muscles were clenched. He was gonna lose his cool. She could feel it. "Shane don't, please" she said her voice trembling.

"She tell mi seh yuh a try get her for the five years mi have her. She could have left anytime she wanted, but she stayed. You can go ahead and have her for a time. You've soiled her. Gwaan use her til mi ready for her again. A mine dat. All weh a gwaan Lissa yuh know yuh soon come back." Lissa couldn't believe Derrick was behaving like that. He rarely lost his cool and he would never engage in the behavior he was showing now. She felt embarrassed.

Shane released her from his grip and walked menacingly back to Derrick. He stood close to him and spoke very softly, but Derrick could hear him. Lissa ran back just in time to hear him tell Derrick, "She may have been yours, but she's mine now. Mine! I've seen how she stresses over you. You had her, but didn't treat her with care. She will never come back to you. You know why? Because I know how to treat her. I know what she likes down to her favorite food to eat? Okay, you say she belongs to you. What's her favorite comfort food?"

Derrick looked at him stunned. "Are really we doing this?" he asked.

Lissa stood still. She wanted to hear too. "Go ahead Rick, we've been together for five years. Surely you can tell him this."

Derrick hissed his teeth and sighed. "You like fries, you usually have them when you're sad."

Lissa shook her head. She was about to respond when Shane spoke up. "She likes soup," Shane answered. "She eats the fries when it's close to that time of the month." Lissa looked at Shane in disbelief. He looked back at her. She didn't realize he was studying her so closely. She was surprised and flattered. 

"What's her favorite thing to do when she's bored?" Shane asked Derrick. Derrick was getting annoyed. "This is stupid!" he declared.

"What's my favorite thing to do when I'm bored Derrick?" Lissa stared at him daring him to answer.

Psssh .,. You watch TV," Derrick said feeling frustrated.

"Wrong," Shane said. "She likes to read novels, the cheesy, smut filled kinds."

Lissa was shocked that he knew this about her. Shane stepped closer to Derrick. "You say she's yours, but how come you don't know little things like those, uh? How is it that I know more about her than you do, and you've been sleeping with her for the past five years? I may as well take her for myself, since I know so much about her. She's my Lissa, not yours!" Shane said angrily. 

He turned around, grabbed Lissa by the arm and pulled her towards his car. He opened the car door of the back seat for her and she slid inside. Sudie looked back at her. Shane slammed his car door angrily. "That guy is a jerk!" he said. He swore angrily. Lissa flinched. "Is that the type of man you want Lissa?" he asked her.

She shook her head. "No," she said.

Shane swore again. Sudie patted his shoulder. "Calm down Sarge," Constable Walker said quietly. 

All three of them watched as Derrick angrily walked towards his car, got in and drove off.

Shane started the car and headed in the direction of work. They were before the police station after fifteen minutes. Sudanie observed the food box her friend held in her lap. "Lunch?" she asked.

"Yeah," Lissa said sadly.

Shane parked the car and got out. Lissa stepped out slowly. Shane turned and looked at her, his eyes burning into her. "We need to talk," he told her. "I'm taking you home later." Lissa nodded. 

He walked away from her. She wasn't sure why he was so angry but, it felt like everyone was beating her up today. Sudanie came and put her arms around her. Lissa leaned on her and started to cry. Her best friend held her until she stopped. 

****

The rest of the day was like a blur. Moy Moy's grandmother came at 3 o'clock and Lissa counseled as best she could, but she could hardly concentrate. Even Sylvia, Amoya's grandmother, noticed something was off about her. She asked if she was okay and Lissa lied and told her she was coming down with the flu. After that session, everyone else was forgettable. She needed a break. She needed time away to assess her feelings and get over this disaster.

Shane left to go back on duty. He had only come by the station to see her briefly. His way of trying to make up for the fact that he couldn't have lunch with her. True to his word however, he came back for her at 7:30 p.m. She slid into the passenger side of his car. She still had the sandwich in the disposable lunch box in her hand. "What's that?" he asked her.

"Lunch," she said sadly. 

He looked at her, then pulled out of the stations' driveway slowly. He maneuvered onto the main road carefully, then drove off when the road was clear. He glanced at her quickly. "I'm sorry for earlier," he said. "I care about you." He sighed. "There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. I'm sorry I lost it." Lissa tentatively reached her hand out and touched his arm. "I'm sorry. I don't know, I didn't know ... I mean, you know so much about me. How do you know?"

Shane moved the arm she touched off the steering, grabbed her hand and brought it up to his lips and kissed it gently. His eyes were still on the road.

"Lissa, I find you fascinating. I observe, I ask your friend questions. I guess I want to understand you," he said smiling.

 Shane observed the food box in her hand. It dawned on him that if she hadn't eaten lunch, she hadn't eaten anything all day. He looked at her, concerned. "What's in the box?" he asked. He bent his head gesturing towards the box in her lap. 

"A chicken sandwich with extra mayo," Lissa said dully. Shane glanced at her briefly. "Did you get to eat any of it?" he asked.

"Just a few bites," she said.

"Aren't you hungry?" he asked her concerned. He turned his head back to the road. Lissa didn't know what to feel. 

"I don't feel hungry," she told him. 

"But you must be," he said. He looked at her quickly then focused on driving. As they were coming on the roundabout, he quickly changed directions and turned the vehicle onto the highway. He rested her hand, still clasped in his, on his lap.

Lissa looked at him. "Where are we going?"

"My place," he said. He smiled at her. "Tomorrow is Sunday. I usually chill and sleep, but I have church in the morning. However, for you I'll make an exception."

"No," Lissa said. "You don't have to." She felt so awful inside. "About yesterday, I know Christians shouldn't be indulging in sex before marriage, and here I was seducing you. I'm sorry." 

Shane looked over at her. He released her hand. He placed both hands on the steering and increased his speed. "Call your parents and tell them you're staying at a friend's," he told her.

"But I have nothing to sleep over in," she said amused. She smiled at him.

"I have old T-shirts you can wear. Lissa, I want you near me. I told you yesterday, you're mine."

"But you're a Christian, you're supposed to be waiting until marriage." She looked at him incredulously. 

"I know," he said looking at her with a smile. "Lissa, I want you to wait with me."

She gazed at him surprised. "I don't know if I can do that Shane. I love having sex. And it will be hard for me being around you. Now that I know what being with you feels like, it will be hard for me not to want it."

Her eyes lingered at his throat. The top of his shirt was loose. He had opened a button on his shirt, she could see his collar bone and a hint of his powerful chest muscles. He saw her gazing at his chest and chuckled softly. It was gonna be hard for him too. "It will be hard for me too. Lissa, you're beautiful." He directed his gaze on the road. "There isn't a day or a moment I haven't wanted to be with you; to have you in my arms. Now that I have you here with me, I'm not letting you."

Reluctantly, Lissa dialed her mom's cellphone number and told her she was sleeping over at a friend's house, and that she would be back tomorrow. Her mother sounded a little curious, but didn't ask her any questions. Lissa was relieved about that. She ended the call. Shane looked over at her and winked. Lissa shook her head and laughed softly.

He slowed the car's speed and turned down a well lit street. He parked in front of a nice house with slabbed roof. It was painted in cream and gold colors on the outside. She wondered what the inside looked like. 

"Welcome to my humble abode," he told her.

She looked at him and looked at his house. She was impressed. He saw her expression and laughed softly. "Do you like it?" he asked.

"Yes, I like it. The painting finish reminds me of something." she said having a feeling of deja vu.

Shane smiled. "Yeah, a friend gave me a link to this guy named Belvedere Singh. He and his crew came and did part of the construction and then the painting."

"Really?!" Lissa was excited. What a coincidence! Now she knew why it felt familiar. She noticed the same type of finish on her kitchen and living room walls.

He looked at her shocked expression. "What is it?"

"My cousin is married to his son!" Lissa said excitedly.

"Oh, you mean Jason?" Shane was surprised. He didn't know Jason had gotten married. He needed to give him a call. 

Lissa nodded. "Yes!" She was shocked. Wasn't this something?! She thought. Was this a sign? She mused.

Shane opened his car door, quickly came around to the passenger side and opened her door for her. She stepped out and looked around the neighborhood. It seemed like a quiet community. Shane touched her hand as he armed the vehicle.

He took her hand, tucked it under his arm and led her to his front door. He opened the door and let her go inside first, then locked the door behind him. 

As she entered the living room, the faint but pleasant scent of pine hit her nostrils. She breathed it in and sighed. His furniture looked very comfy. She sat on the plush brown couch, kicked off her shoes and lay down. Shane looked at her amused. She still had the food box with the chicken sandwich in her hand. He took it from her and dropped it in the bin in the kitchen. Lissa sat up. Her eyes widened when she saw what he did, but said nothing. He walked back to her. "I know you felt like doing that, but you'd feel guilty," he told her. "I did it for you, so your conscience can be clear. I have a better idea. I'll cook you something."

"I want soup. I'm sorry, when I'm stressed that's what I want." she said apologetically. Shane came and sat beside her. "That's fine honey. The chicken may take a while. Would you be okay with veggies instead?" 
Lissa nodded. She came closer to him and rested her head on his lap. Shane sat back and stroked her hair. "I love you," he told her. Lissa hesitated. She cleared her throat. "I ... " She didn't know what to say. "I care about you." That was the truth.

"I know," he said stroking her hair. She sat up and looked at him. He reached for her and kissed her tenderly. He kissed her forehead then headed into the kitchen. "I'll make you some vegetable broth and an egg sandwich, okay?"

Lissa nodded her agreement. "Thank you," she said smiling at him. He was being so good to her. 

While Shane was preparing food for her, she looked around the room. The living room and kitchen flowed into each other in a seamless way. The design was open plan so from the living room she could see him working in the kitchen area. There was only a wall about five feet high, painted in lime green, that gave the appearance of privacy where the stove was placed. 

Both the living room and kitchen walls were painted a lime green color with white paint on the skirting at the top and bottom of the walls. The ceiling had a 'popcorn design' which was painted in a cream/egg shell white shade. She liked it. 

The colors weren't as vibrant as the ones used in her home, but they were just as lovely to behold. They made the space look larger, airy and welcoming. The finish on the walls was smooth and flawless. Jason and his dad did an excellent job as usual. She thought of Carli, and hoped she and Jason were having a great time wherever they were.

After an hour, Lissa was biting into the most delicious egg sandwich she had ever tasted, and was thoroughly enjoying the vegetable broth. When she realised he wasn't eating with her, she was concerned. "You aren't hungry?" she asked him. He shook his head. "No, I had something around 3 o'clock, so I'm not really hungry," he replied.

"You sure?" she asked biting into the sandwich he made for her. He nodded. "Yeh man, I'm good." He smiled at her. He liked the fact that she was thinking about his well-being.

When she had finished eating, Shane brought her a clean but old t-shirt and a pair of shorts. "I want you here with me," he said. Lissa felt shy but nodded. The way he was taking charge of the situation was a breath of fresh air. She took them from him. 

"People will tell you things about me, but I want you to come to me, okay? With any question or concern you have, come to me. Feel free to ask me." He cupped her face with both hands and gazed deeply into her eyes. "I'm no saint, but I'm trying to be a better person. I'm not the same man I used to be," he told her. 

Lissa leaned into him and he circled his arms around her. "Yes, I've heard the things they say about you," she said, "but after what I've seen you do for me, I don't care about what they say. I trust you." Lissa reached up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. He held her close and squeezed gently, closing his eyes.

Later in the night he told her that he wanted to date her. He however knew that he couldn't expect her to be with him even though he wanted her to. "Lissa, I love you and I want to be with you. I know that what I'm asking you to do is a bit unexpected, abstaining from sex with me. It's actually crazy. So if after tonight you say, let's be friends, I'm willing to accept it. But right now, I want to live out this fantasy a little."

Lissa was curious. "What fantasy?" she asked.

"You here with me, holding you close," he said reaching for her. He cradled her in his arms. Lissa relaxed on his chest. He made her feel safe. "Do we make love in your fantasy?" she asked him.

Shane chuckled and kissed her hair. "Yeah, we do, slow and sensual," he said softly.

 Lissa shivered when she heard the tone of his voice. "I wish we could," she told him.

"Me too," he said with a heavy sigh.

"But we won't?" she turned her head to look at him. He smiled and shook his head. "I was weak yesterday. You were hurting and I wanted to comfort you," he told her.

"I want to be comforted now too," she said chuckling.

Shane laughed softly. He squeezed her to him. She felt so good: all warm and soft, and smelled lovely. 

"I can't," he said. Lissa sighed and rested her body on him more deliberately. 

"This is nice. Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome honey."

At 11:30, Shane noticed that Lissa had trouble keeping her eyes open. He lifted her and brought her to his bedroom. He undressed her, removing her bra but resisted the urge to caress her sexually. She was leaning on him sleepily while he quickly put something more comfortable on her. 

Laying her down, he kissed her lips softly with cute little pecks. She was beautiful. She looked at him, reached up her hand and touched his face. He kissed the palm and gently squeezed it. He placed her hand on the bed, she turned on her side and closed her eyes. Shane looked at her. 

He went and took a quick shower then climbed into bed with her. Wearing a soft cotton t-shirt and thin sweat pants, he cuddled with her. She opened her eyes and looked at him. She saw the love in his eyes and wondered why she hadn't noticed it before. Cosying up to him, she closed her eyes and fell asleep. Shane watched her sleeping and sighed. She was beautiful and soft. He wished he could have her, but he knew he shouldn't.  

Carefully, he rested her body on the bed, then left her to sleep on the couch. Shane dimmed the lights in the living room. The couch had a pull-out bed. He pulled out the bed section and lay on it, closing his eyes. He loved her enough to wait, even though things had escalated between them. He wanted to show her that a man who was truly in love would wait, and that's what he wanted to do for her. 

He closed his eyes, placed his hands on his belly, breathing in deeply. Willing his mind and body to relax, he fell asleep.